Yesterday I was approached by an older couple concerned for the safety of my son. He had climbed on a picnic table while I was drawing in the sand with my other boy. I watched the whole thing and thought little of it. Three feet off the ground, sand underneath. The couple sat on a nearby bench. He crawled on top and scooted off the edge, turning around just like I taught him. When I walked back to the table the woman on the bench said, “You can’t let him do that! We thought he was going to fall.” Really?

Still, I didn’t dismiss it. It reminded me of the other looks around the playground. Mothers often keep the corner of their eye on my boys when they swing from the gym bars. On occasion I’ve seen a mother step toward them when they climb something that they aren’t comfortable letting their own child climb. I understand their fears. Unintentional injuries are the leading cause of pediatric mortality, causing more deaths in children ages 1-4 years than the next 10 leading causes of death combined (National Safety Council, 2001). But I feel I know exactly what my boys are capable of doing. It made me wonder, are fathers hazardous to their children’s health?

There is definitely a different philosophy in place between my wife and I. If my wife and I were to describe the qualities she would like to nurture in the boys I suspect her keywords would be “respectful”, “loving” and “sweet.” Certainly important qualities, but I believe my top choices would be to impart independence, confidence and awareness of their capabilities. There is research to back up this parental difference. In studies at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, researchers found mothers and fathers interact with young children in different ways during their time together. “While mothers tend to adopt nurturing roles, fathers play with their toddlers in more physically interactive ways.” (Lamb, Brand Viagra 1997; Lewis, 1997). Their belief was that because paternal playtime may be more physically engaged than the style of maternal nurturing, fathers may be responsible for more unintentional injury.

I suppose it is an acceptable theory. Keeping a child safe is stereotypically tied to nurturing maternal qualities. Researchers Schwebel and Brezauzek conducted two studies on the matter. Their tests were devised to quantify if this difference in parenting gender made a child more prone to injury. Their first study was with parents of children ages six months to three years. What they discovered was the gender of parents played no part in the rate of childhood injuries. They found that both parent genders recognize and teach risk avoidance to the child. Instead, they found that the amount of time that either parent was away from the home contributed to the occurrence of injuries. The perceived gains to the family by a parent working longer hours was what caused a greater possibility of injury to the child.

In a later study Schwebel and Brezauzek conducted similar research with children between five to ten years old. They found that fathers who reported more positive relationships with their children had children protected from injury. This was particularly true of father-son relationships, which is good for me. (David C Schwebel, PhD and Carl M Brezausek, MS; Department of Psychology, and Center for Educational Accountability, University of Alabama at Birmingham.)

So while we may often have a more physical style of parenting, fret not fathers of the world. We have the intuition we need to teach our children appropriate risks and keep them safe. Will we convince the other side with this argument? Probably not. The maternal reaction to risk seems built-in. Just be confident that our guidance, just like their mother’s, is necessary to balance the full spectrum of qualities we want to see in our children to keep them safe.

So as we say on the playground, “Swing high boys, and hold on tight!”

Author Bio: GT Jones is a writer for Daddy Says, a website for fathers taking an active role in raising their children.

Category: Parenting
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