Most brides and grooms set out to plan a wedding that will be a pleasure to attend, and genuinely try to keep the comfort of their guests in mind. Most wedding guests are genuinely happy for the bride and groom, and do their best to go with the flow, even when things are not exactly to their personal taste. But then there are the handful of guests who never seem to be happy about how you are planning your wedding, and bombard you with special “requests” (demands, really), and a list of “concerns” (in other words, complaints) that is mind-boggling. This is a look at how to deal with demanding wedding guests and to keep them from spoiling your special day.

Not every special request is unreasonable, and certainly any host should do what they can to accommodate their guests. If your cousin is deathly allergic to peanuts and asks if she can phone your caterer to find out which dishes to avoid at the reception, it might be unusual, but there is a sound logic behind it. On the other hand, the vegan who calls up the bride and demands that a special dinner be prepared for her would be overstepping her boundaries. The first example is a case of life-and-death, the other a case of lifestyle. The cousin with the life-threatening food allergy should be accommodated, but the one who has food preferences should sweetly be informed that the caterer does not offer special vegan meals, but that there will be plenty of fresh veggies available at the reception.

What about the guest who sends in the response card for six people when only two were invited? When it comes to matters of guest list additions, the bride is definitely in the right to politely stand her ground. For one thing, all of those extra mouths to feed means a higher bill for the reception. For another, every couple has the right to have a wedding with only the people they want and no random strangers. To the guest who wants to bring along a gaggle of extra people, the correct answer is, “I’m terribly sorry, but we do not have an inch of extra space to seat more guests for dinner. We would love to meet your friends the next time they come to town.”

Then there is the one who demands permission to bring her daughter to an adults-only wedding because her child has never been to a wedding before and wants to see one? Once again, the bride has etiquette on her side in this matter, and she would also do well to invoke fairness as well. When it comes to children at an adults-only reception, simply say that while you are sure that her daughter would behave beautifully, it would cause a huge family fight if you allowed one guest to bring a child, but not the others. If she then decides to decline the invitation, so be it.

Some brides will also be faced with unwanted input about the wedding plans from guests, especially family members. There is the grandmother who insists that a bride should only wear pearls and that the bride must not wear the Swarovski crystal bracelets she purchased. Or there is the reverse: the mother-in-law with the dramatic taste who insists that the bride trade in her unembellished bridal gown and dainty pearl earrings for a dress with lots of sparkle, and and armload of fabulous Swarovski crystal bracelets. In both cases, the bride should politely thank the person for her opinion and then wear whatever makes her comfortable. The same goes for the friends who say that if you don’t hire a d.j. instead of a jazz band, the reception will be boring or that your wedding colors are “all wrong”. When it comes to matters of taste, all the bride must do is smile and listen politely…before going on to do exactly what she planned to do in the first place. After all, when the demanding guests are the ones getting married, they can do it their way, but this wedding is yours.

Author Bio: Bridget Mora writes for Silverland Jewelry about wedding planning, style, and etiquette. You will love the gorgeous handcrafted Swarovski crystal bracelets, earrings, and necklaces at http://silverlandjewelry.com/. All jewelry orders over $99 receive complimentary shipping.

Category: Marriage
Keywords: Swarovski crystal bracelets, demanding wedding guests, wedding guests, wedding advice