Before I tell you what the latest survey on workplace peeves is, take a minute and think about what bothers you the most with your colleagues at work.

I’ll start with mine. I hate, I mean HATE people who talk out of both sides of their mouths. I call them “splitters”. They tell you how bad Suzy is, and then tell Suzy what a jerk you are. Sooner or later Suzy and I will have an icy discussion that eventually will lead to the truth. We will patch up a tattered relationship and I hate, just HATE the time wasted that could have been filled with creative energy.

Okay, I told you my pet peeve, now it’s your turn. Not just what annoys you; look for the reason behind it. Now let’s look at what causes workplace conflict around the country.

Here are the three top results of a survey done by Randstad Work Watch about what irks co-workers:

1. Poor time management skills: drives people to distraction; one of the major problems is how everyone is impacted by the snail who keeps projects from a timely finish. These poor time management folks mostly fall into the pattern of procrastinator and underneath their excuses is a frightened individual who hates being judged, so they drag out time requirements thinking that will give them less time to get flack. No, no one thinks about this is a conscious way; it is, so to speak, under the radar of our perceptions.

2. Gossip: Ahhh, office politics also known as “The Gotcha Game” . It’s where the splitters reside. Also in the gossip corner you will also find the martyr who says over and over, something like “can you believe that I had to jump in and do their work for them and let me tell you what they were doing instead of working……” The pleaser is another pattern ripe for gossip. This is the one who always says “Yes” to taking on more than they can handle and then telling everyone about anyone who is not willing to help. The difference between the martyr and the pleaser is this; martyr doesn’t ask for or want help, they love to suffer while the pleaser wants to be in the middle of the “in group” and will accept help from the “right people”.

3. Messiness in communal places: Also known as “put the cream back in the refrigerator, you slob!” This one is right out of childhood and most folks annoyed by this were the super achiever who did everything perfectly at home. They usually had a brother or sister who was the “lazy” or “dumb” one and was “the mess.” The super achiever and the martyr love to complain about messiness and yet, they will always put the cream away or wipe the coffee grinds from the table.

I hope you are beginning to understand that what annoys you has an underlying core, most often from your original organization, the family that you bring into your present organization at work. That said, it does not mean you should NOT get annoyed; it means you can learn something about yourself from the annoyance.

Notice the emotional upset as you would a weather barometer. If it hits the hot button you are in the world of patterned reactions and how you approach the person and situation the “bugs” you will usually be a knee-jerk response. Once you understand where the upset originated you have a better chance of talking with the other person/s in a more practical and helpful way. Don’t get me wrong, you have every right to be annoyed with someone who has poor time management skills, gossips, or is messy in shared space.

Your task is to figure out how to handle the upset without either destroying workplace relationships or going home with your gut in a knot.

Just to round out the list here are the other top workplace upsets: loud noises, potent scents, overuse if personal electronics in meetings, political conversations, misuse of email, personal use of social media sites during working hours.

Interesting how the work landscape has changed with needing to learn how to have our necessary technology fit into our lives. On the other hand, the behavior patterns addressed in the top three (for a full list see “Don’t Bring It to Work”) are the human universals will always withstand the test of time and technology. I don’t think that will change any time too soon.

Author Bio: Dr. Sylvia Lafair, Author, Leadership Educator, Executive Coach for over 30 years is an authority on leadership and workplace relationships. She is President of Creative Energy Options, Inc. Visit http://www.ceoptions.com and http://www.sylvialafair.com .

Category: Leadership
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