When a married couple hits a rocky patch in their relationship, many just choose to grin and bear it. However, when that rocky patch stretches into weeks and months, it can sometimes feel like there’s no end in sight. At this point, many couples opt for either divorce or marriage separation.

For many couples, marriage separation is a viable alternative to divorce. For one, it allows them to keep legal, financial, and insurance-related instruments belonging to them as a couple intact. And on the relationship level, a separation gives the couple the chance to live apart while they try to work out their problems while remaining married.

In many cases, after a period of separation the couple will decide to make another go at the relationship. This is understandably a decision fraught with feelings of insecurity and uncertainty. But it can also mean the road to reconciliation.

If you were at that point where you were thinking of ending your separation, here are 5 steps to marriage separation reconciliation:

1. Before making a move, do a reality check with a trusted friend or family member:

The circumstances leading up to a marriage separation differ tremendously from couple to couple. Sometimes, at the height of our marital problems, the truth about what’s what can become a little bit cloudy for most of us. Looking back at the time you were together, it can be hard to be objective about what actually went on, who was at fault, etc. Therefore, before making a move toward reconciliation, meet with a trusted friend or family member in ask them their opinion about the chances for your marriage being successful if you give it another go.

2. Write out a list of things that you would need to have changed in your spouse before you were to reconcile your marriage:

Next, it is important to be honest with yourself about what you would need to have changed in your spouse for you to be able to get back together. This is usually necessary in particular if there was something like extensive cheating or physical abuse in the relationship.

3. Now, write out what you are willing to work on within yourself:

In a similar vein, write down those things that you are willing to work on within yourself. Nobody’s perfect, and your only chance of success is if you both recognize your flaws.

4. Ask your spouse for a meeting:
When you feel ready to move forward, ask your spouse for a meeting. Choose a location that does not hold any historical significance for you as a couple. In other words, find a neutral meeting space. Let him or her know that you will be wanting to talk about the relationship; no surprises.

5. Speak using “I feel” statements and avoid blaming statements:

As you explore your marriage in conversation with your spouse, be sure to always speak from the position of “I feel” statements. At the same time, avoid statements that place blame on the other person. Blaming-type statements will only evoke a defensive attitude in him or her.

Once you get the dialogue started, take the time to learn skills that any relationship requires to be successful. Any money you spend on education are therapy will likely be the best money you’ve ever spent.

Author Bio: Get advice on reconciling your marriage from a relationship expert who has saved thousands of marriages at: Reconcile Your Marriage Today.

Category: Marriage
Keywords: 5 Steps To Marriage Separation Reconciliation, stay married, how to avoid divorce