Listening is a skill that many of us think we are good at but in reality we are not. We primarily listen to obtain information and understanding of a certain situation. We also listen for enjoyment and to learn.

Whatever the reason is for you to listen to what being said by others, good listening skills will enhance your relationship with others and affect everything in your personal and professional live. You will be able to increase your influence in others. You will be in a good position to persuade and negotiate. You will be seen positively by others. All these ingredients forms part recipe called success.

Here are 8 ways to become a good listener.

1. Focus on what is being said. The average person speaks at 200 words per minute but the mind is capable of processing 600 words per minute. Thus it is not surprising that the mind tend to wander off midway during a conversation. Develop the will power to only concentrate on the speaker. Dismiss other thoughts. This takes a little training but if you persist, in time you will find it easier to listen only to the speaker and not those little voices in your head.

2. Be conscious of your body language. The wrong body language like slouching, wandering eyes, body facing away will send a silent message to the speaker that you are not interested. Studies have found that non-verbal messages are three times more powerful than verbal messages. Nodding now and then sends a positive message. It shows that you acknowledge what is being spoken and encourages the speaker to continue speaking. Remember to maintain eye contact.

3. Don’t judge. Do not evaluate the message being spoken mid-way. Listen until the end before making any judgments. This is especially important when you are listening to people who you don’t agree with. Jumping to conclusions, in this case will only aggravate the matter.

4. Don’t think of a response. When you start doing this, your mind disengages from the conversation and starts to wander thinking of things to say. Your mind, for all its wonderful quality, cannot consciously do two things at the same time.

5. Paraphrase. Paraphrasing is an art of stating in your own words of what is being said. To do this, you first have to listen carefully and respond. Use words such as, ” I feel you are saying that …,), ” It sound like you are telling me …,”. Also, try and summarize the speakers point now and then. Paraphrasing is a great way to show the speaker that you are following him.

6. Observe. Look for clues from the speaker’s body language. Remember that non-verbal messages are more powerful than verbal messages. Look at the facial expression of the speaker and listen to the tone of his voice.
Listening is not only hearing what is being said, but how it is being said.

7. Ask questions. By asking questions you show that you are interested and also allow you to clarify things that you are not sure of.

Author Bio: Abdul Majid is interested in the human potential and is grateful for being alive. Get more self help tools at Self Help 101 .

Category: Self Help
Keywords: listening, listener,speaking,talk,speaker