Finding that first piece of rock-solid evidence or receiving that first tip-off from a friend that your wife is cheating on you can feel like a cold stab to the heart. Whether your relationship seemed to have been going great up until that point or whether you had been experiencing a lot of problems in recent months or years, the pain is the same either way.

Being cheated on hurts your pride, hurts your feelings, and can make you afraid for your relationship. It can also be the cause of a lot of anger and resentment, which can start to build up if you don’t take care to get this situation figured out right away.

As a man who has just found out he has been cheated on by his wife, your first inclination may be to want to do something drastic, like lash out at your wife in anger or just up and leave the relationship. But, once that first wave of initial intense reactions passes and cooler heads prevail, you will realize that your situation is not so simple as that. No, rash actions will not do in this case. You need to rationally and calmly figure this out – regardless of which way you choose to take the relationship moving forward.

If you are saying to yourself, “My wife is cheating on me: what should I do?”, here are 5 tips for helping you make sense of the situation:

1. Before confronting your wife, get as many facts as you can:
As emotional or upset as you may be feeling right now as a result of the recent news about your wife’s affair, it is always going to work in your favor if you get as many facts as you can about the situation. For example, while most people would never hire a private detective to follow their spouse around, if you already have evidence of cheating it may make sense to get it documented. Reason: if you are wrong or have received false information about the would-be affair, confronting your wife could make your relationship take a very bad turn.

2. If you can confirm she is really cheating, decide what this means for your marriage:
Once you know for sure that she really is cheating, you need to decide what you want from your marriage. You basically have three possible positions to take at this point: a. you want out of the marriage and it is just a matter of time; b. you would consider staying in the marriage but first need to get to the bottom of what is going on; c. you are taking a wait-and-see attitude.

3. You may decide that you cannot stay in your marriage any longer:
If you already know in your heart at this point that you need to exit the marriage, you need to confront your wife about what you know. Then, you need to start making plans to leave the marriage. Find a good divorce lawyer, get your things in order, and make it happen.

4. If you want to try to save your marriage, you will need to tell your wife you know about her affair:
Even if you decide to stay in the marriage or are at least open to the possibility, you absolutely need to start a dialogue with your wife about her cheating on you. You cannot just allow this to go on without taking action, and you have to let her know that you know the whole story. That is the only way you can live in dignity with yourself, and it is the only hope you have of fixing your relationship.

5. Put together an action plan that you work on together to save your marriage:
Next, you and your wife need to work as a team to put together a plan to save your marriage. It is only by agreeing to seek outside help and working together that you have a hope of saving your marriage.

Take these 5 tips into account as you decide your next moves after finding out your wife is cheating on you.

Author Bio: Get your difficult relationship back on track with expert relationship advice from someone who has saved thousands of marriages at: Recover After an Affair.

Category: Relationships
Keywords: My Wife is Cheating On Me,What Should I Do with a cheating wife, 5 tips on how to handle a cheater