Have you recently made the important decision to leave an abusive partner? This wise step can seem like a giant leap into the unknown. Besides the emotional aspects of leaving a bad relationship, there are also safety considerations. You don’t know how your partner will react, and there is a chance leaving will put you in harm’s way, making this step a bit scary. It is important to take the necessary steps to protect your safety, both before and after you leave the relationship, as you develop a plan for starting your new life.

At Work – Let the security staff in your building know about the situation. Provide a picture of your abuser so that they can keep him out of the office. You may also want to let your supervisor, manager, or HR advisor know of the situation so that they can help to protect you. Ask a coworker to escort you to your car or bus in case your abuser is waiting outside to confront you. You may want to ask for a change in work hours, and take different routes to work, so that your partner cannot find you there.

At Home – Let your landlord and your neighbors know that your partner no longer lives there, and that they should call police if they see him there. Living in the same residence you shared with your abuser is one of the most dangerous parts of leaving an abusive relationship. Change the locks right away, and install security features such as door and window alarms and surveillance cameras.

Personal Safety – Your safety may be in jeopardy not just at work and at home, but anywhere you go throughout the day. Prepare yourself with a canister of pepper spray, a stun gun, or a personal alarm. Consider self defense training to give you the confidence to stand up to your abuser. Do not be afraid to call the police if you feel threatened or in danger – remember, they are there to protect you. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Legal Help – File for a protection order or restraining order so that your abuser cannot legally contact you. Keep a copy of the order with you at all times in case your abuser does confront you. Call the police right away if this happens, even if you feel relatively safe at the moment. If you have children, fight for sole custody of them, and then inform the school and other caregivers that you are the only one with permission to pick them up.

Statistically, domestic violence occurs in one out of six relationships. It is extremely likely that you, or someone you are close to, has been or will be subjected to domestic violence. Though this problem is often kept quiet, in cases of abuse it is critical to protect the personal safety of the abused, even for years after they leave the relationship. In fact, the most dangerous time for an abused women is after she leaves the relationship.

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Category: Relationships
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