You have a partner that you planned to stay with your whole life. Are you doing your best to sustain that relationship? Would you honestly be able to say you’ve given it your all? Should the relationship take a bomb dive would you not feel any guilt or regret when you swear none of the dials on the control panels indicated an imminent wreck? Who wants to take the blame for the flaming wreckage of a relationship?

Who wants to be the blame for not building a strong and loving togetherness. Indeed, like Caesar and Cleopatra, some relationships are destined to fail. And this can be due to some mighty extenuating circumstances. But, just a basic level of understanding and respect can thwart the majority of partnership failures. Reflecting on the positive aspects of a relationship, and how these can be stimulated to grow into an even more exciting togetherness, is the basic need here.

To reflect on a relationship you have to figure out exactly what it is that you have. Don’t start out with a list of what your relationship isn’t. That’s a set-up for sabotage. Find the good things. For instance, some diners can ruin a great dinner because mints weren’t served afterward. So, appreciate what you have – each particular blessing. Root them out, they may be hard to find, but they’re there. And they may be hard to find because you don’t really appreciate what you already have. And like a few parched seeds, these positive things in your life hold the promise of ever more blooms after every drought.

Health. Are your trips to the doctor few and far between? How about your significant other? Do you enjoy ease of mobility? Are you both comfortable on a nature trail or on the beach? Do you have to inject insulin everyday? Do you have to go to the hospital every so often to get your blood cleaned? If you or your partner don’t have to deal with any of these issues, you are truly blessed.

Status. One day take a stroll to the nearest busy park. Take a seat and watch the people pass. You are going to see an expanse of human experience. You will see those who are better than yourselves in socioeconomic terms, and worse off than yourselves, too.

Watching this stream of humanity will give you things to think about as far as where you want to go and what you want to avoid. It will help you discern who needs help. Remember, you have no real equals, there are only those who are better off than you are and worse off than you are. You are your own guide.

Possessions. If you find yourselves lucky enough to live in a comfortable dwelling, and this is subjective, take the time to appreciate it. Look around the world. A fine mud hut overlooking a lagoon can be the symbol of having arrived as much as a condo on top of a skyscraper overlooking the Hudson in New York City. Mud hut or condo, appreciate what you have. Relax, hold your lover in your arms and enjoy what you have built together.

Accomplishments. What have you done with your life so far? How is your significant other holding up in life’s endeavors? If you are an auto mechanic or a poet, a businessman or a restauranteur, you have the privilege of knowing you’ve contributed in your own small way to the machinations of this wonderful world. What’s nice is that the more positive things you do in life, the more positive things that will be reflected back onto you. Appreciation is itself an art. Learn how to appreciate well and you will become well appreciated. By yourself, by your partner, by your world. Especially by your partner.

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Category: Relationships
Keywords: marriage, relationships, love, intimacy