What does it take to be a good listener? A lot. That’s’ why there are many who cannot qualify for one.

To make sure that you can definitely lend an ear to a friend and allow him to feel so much better, discover the ways on how to be a good listener:

1. Drop everything you’re doing.

You really cannot listen attentively if you’re doing something else, right? Devote the time to doing nothing else but listening. Besides, when you do this, you will be able to provide the necessary reactions to what the person is going to say to you.

2. Be careful of your body movements.

You don’t have to say anything to make the person feel you’re really not interested in listening. Crossing arms, looking at time, or even removing your eyes away from the person can already send bad signals.

Instead you can use your body language to let the person know that you’re there to listen. Make sure you can look at him straight in the eyes. Use your hands to convey you want to listen more. You can also place your hands on theirs if you want to offer comfort or solace.

3. Think of him as you.

If you want to know how important it is to be heard and to listen, just put yourself in the other person’s position. Would you like a friend or family member to not mind you? Surely you don’t want that.

4. Speak less, listen more.

Here’s what most “listeners” do: they talk a lot. They have a habit of cutting off the other person, offering their opinions or thoughts at the wrong time. Worse, they provide a series of advice that the talker doesn’t really need.

Don’t assume that everyone wants to hear an opinion or even likes an advice. Many of them would simply like to have a human soundboard so they can get off the steam off their chest, or they would feel relaxed or better after. Moreover, it’s considered bad manners to interfere when another person is talking.

What you can do, though, is to ask questions so the person will open up some more. You can also react to what he’s saying through “yes,” “really,” or any words that will tell him you’re actually listening. Most of all, don’t give out your opinion or advice unless you’re asked to do so.

5. Be patient.

Some of them will talk non-stop, and there are times when you are tired of listening. Just use the subliminal messages:

I know this person needs me.
I can offer comfort to this person through listening.
This person deserves to be heard by me.
I am here to understand.
I am thankful someone trusts me.

Use these subliminal messages to uplift you and provide you the motivation to extend your patience and be a much better friend and listener. You can even speak of these subliminal messages through your mind while the other person is still talking.

Author Bio: Nelson Berry is The Pioneer of Subliminal Messages Online. Click
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Category: Self Help
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