You know the feeling: half your life seems to be like a flash back in the movies and you\’re always thinking about how life used to be. So how can you stop dwelling on things and move your life forward again?

1. Accept that the past is gone

I know, often easier said than done. But until we invent time travel, there\’s no way you can regain whatever it was you\’re reaching out for in the past. The brutal reality is that the past is no more. And while we\’re at it, the future hasn\’t happened yet either. There is only the present moment. Enjoy it for a change!

2. Talk to people

There\’s almost certainly someone in your life who you use as a sounding board when things don\’t go to plan. Book a time slot with that person and – if necessary – pour your heart out about whatever it is that you\’re dwelling on and that\’s bugging you on a near-permanent basis. This release of feelings may be enough to move you on in life and stop yourself from dwelling on past events so much.

3. Leave your comfort zone

Yikes! That sounds scary! But actually fear is typically more afraid of us than we are of it. So pushing the boundaries of where you feel comfortable will often be quite easy when you start. If you\’ve built what amounts to a shrine to someone who has left your life – and many of us do this for departed loved ones – then have a clear out. If you really can\’t bear to throw the stuff away – the stuff that\’s helping you to dwell on all those past memories – then put it into storage so that you\’re not constantly fixating on it.

4. Forgive yourself

If you\’re forever dwelling on something, chances are that in some way you blame yourself for whatever you\’re associating with that event. Stop constantly beating yourself up about it and actually forgive yourself. If you can bring yourself to admit this out loud – even if it\’s just spoken to yourself with no-one else listening – you\’ll be amazed at how much of a release this gives you. Try it. You\’ve got nothing to lose unless you really do enjoy wallowing around in the past and dwelling on what happened – or what could have happened – that much. My guess is that you don\’t enjoy it fully, so give the idea of forgiving yourself a try.

5. Trust in the universe

Whether you believe in a God or not, at the very least the universe is the bringer of things. What you\’re currently getting in your life is what you\’re currently concentrating on. So if you are permanently concentrating on what happened, what could have been, generally dwelling on things that you don\’t have the power to change, shift your focus and place your trust in the universe to deliver a better solution and to help you forever dwelling on the past. You\’ve nothing to lose but that thundercloud that\’s constantly lurking above your head.

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Category: Self Help
Keywords: letting go of the past, how to let go of the past