The death of a marriage is an extremely devastating occurrence. The range of intense emotions experienced as a result, can turn lives upside down and tear families apart. Divorce can also be a very confusing time. Even though a marriage may have been bad and both parties looked forward to terminating it, yet, typically, when the end comes, there is no escaping the pain and loss experienced.

This is so because ending a marriage means letting go of shared commitments and dreams, sometimes after many years. Hopes for the future have been dashed and this can lead of feelings of failure, inadequacy and profound disappointment. With all of these extreme emotions being experienced, most of them negative, this time can be one of the most difficult in the live of an adult.

A break up can mean uncertainty about the future, loss of friends and other close relationships. Being bombarded with so much at one time can even mean a loss of identity for some divorcees. After many years of life as a spouse, having friendships as a couple together and living in partnership with another person, being left to stand alone can be frightening. The future is in doubt and stepping out into the unknown can be intimidating.

Fortunately, there is life after divorces. The recovery process is difficult and challenging, but with effort and determination, life can become good again. A good way to begin is by acknowledging all the feelings of anger, loss, frustration confusion, anxiety and sadness. It is normal to feel this way and in order to heal, it is necessary to first feel. Grieving is integral to the healing process, and regardless of how painful, it does come to an end at some time.

Close friends are a lifeline in the aftermath of this difficult time. Having someone to talk to and share the multiplicity of emotions is extremely cathartic. It helps in abating the pervasive loneliness. A good friend who listens and does not judge or criticize makes all the difference. Using a journal as an outlet for expressing and releasing pent up sensations works also.

Joining a support group provides an avenue for sharing with others who are experiencing the same distress. Knowing that other people really do feel and understand the pain is extremely comforting and helps to move the healing process forward. New endeavors as finding a hobby and doing volunteer work are useful tools in keeping loneliness at bay, and at the same time provide an avenue for meeting new people.

Divorces can wreck havoc on the ability to function at previous, normal capacities. It is perfectly understandable should a former high functioning, productive person temporarily lose that ability. A lack of will to execute responsibilities at the same level, prior to marriage dissolution, comes with the territory. In fact, scaling back may well advance the cause towards recovery.

Of the myriad negative emotions which characterize divorce, there is a difference between feeling them, which is necessary for healing, and dwelling on them too much. Becoming bogged down in the mire of hurtful feelings like resentment, blame and anger is destructive. It impedes the healing process. Life may be difficult and challenging now, but the future holds the potential for new hopes and dreams and as far as is possible, should be embraced with this in mind.

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Category: Relationships
Keywords: Family, Divorce, legal, advice, home, law, business