What happens when we hear of someone walking into a bar? Read on…

WATCH OUT!
Two clowns walk into a bar.

You\’d think the second guy would have seen it.

SPEAKING OF…:
A dyslexic walks into a bra……..

SANS SERIF BAR:
A default Sans Serif font walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, \”Get out – we don\’t serve your type here!\”

BAR SCIENCE:
2 hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, \”I do believe I\’ve lost an electron\”

The other hydrogen atom says, \”Are you sure?\”

The first replies, \”Yes, I\’m positive\”.

THE PIANO MAN\’S MONKEY:
A man walks into a piano lounge where a piano player is playing, sits down at the bar near the piano and orders a beer. The musician\’s monkey jumps up on the bar, near where the guy is sitting and urinates in the man\’s beer. The man yells to the piano player, \”Hey, do you know your monkey just peed in my beer?\” The piano player responds, \”No, but if you hum a few bars, I might remember it. \”

OH YUCK!
A dude walks into a bar and sits on a stool. The bartender grunts, \”What\’ll you have?\”

The guy says, \”Got any pickled sunflowers?\”

The bartender scowls and replies \”We don\’t serve pickled sunflowers here. That\’s disgusting. We serve alcohol, now buzz off!\”

The man hops off the stool and walks out.

The next day, the same dude walks into the same bar, hops on a bar stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, \”Got any pickled sunflowers?\”

The bartender, not bothering to conceal his anger, says, \”I told you yesterday we don\’t carry pickled sunflowers in this bar, we serve drinks, now GET OUT!\”

The man hops down from the bar stool and walks out.

The next day, the same man walks into the same bar once more, hops on a stool, looks at the bartender, and asks him again, \”Got any pickled sunflowers?\”

The bartender, enraged, bangs his fist on the bar and screams at the guy, \”I told you two times already we don\’t serve pickled sunflowers here, we serve only drinks! If you ask me that stupid question ONE MORE TIME I\’m going to staple your butt to the bar! NOW GET OUT!\”

With that, the dude shrugged, hopped off the bar stool and walks out..

The next day, the same dude walks into the same bar yet again, hops on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, \”Got any staples?\”

The bartender, puzzled, says no.

The dude then looks him square in the eye and says, \”Got any pickled sunflowers?\”

GRAMMAR:
A gerund walks into a bar, and the bartender says, \”What are you, drinking?\”

DRUM SET:
Three guys walk into a drum set.

Ba dum dum!

WINE BAR NOT!
Two guys walk into a bar. One dude is a farmer, the other is a city slicker.

The farmer sits down on a bar stool and orders a beer. The city slicker orders a glass of wine. The bartender says, \”Sorry dude, we don\’t have any wine.\”

So the city dude leaves.

The bartender asks the farmer says, \”Grapes to make wine.\”

BAR JOKE
A priest, a rabbi, a nun, a lawyer, a three-legged zebra, an advertising executive, a horse, a beaver, an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman and a ventriloquist walk into a bar.

The bartender looks from his crossword puzzle, and says, \”What is this, a joke?\”

Author Bio: David Leonhardt is a writer for this bars and nightclubs website. Find a bar in San Francisco.

Category: Entertainment
Keywords: bars,clubs,jokes,bar jokes,bar humor