JIHAD AND PIXIE DUST IN INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY
Ah, those zany al Quada guys
– anything to make a point!

Dr. Robert Beeman
©2011 all rights reserved

Liberal/Progressive philosophy always trumps common sense. Its adherents will use any spin in order to fit uncomfortable facts into their mandatory ideological framework.

Liberals require America to be guilty for the world’s sins. If France is hated, or England or Japan or the Burmese, there are probably mitigating circumstances. But if America is hated it must be America’s fault. We spread dollars around and expect gratitude. We force other countries to adopt the trappings of our culture just because it’s vastly preferable to their own and heaps more fun. And somehow we manage to strongarm the combined might of the United Nations into doing our evil will by freeing a subject people, burying our dead, then going home.

The fact that America has never taken a dime of money or a centimeter of territory for its troubles, and the simple truth that not a few Americans lie permanently in foreign sod from fighting for non-Americans, is acutely embarrassing to Liberals who would rather task us with villainy than selflessness. Of course, absent a moral compass, Liberals have no sense of decency, no cognitive connection to activities performed merely because they’re the right thing to do.

So taking into account all its wins and losses, let us try to be scrupulously fair and present a balanced, credible image of how Liberal/Progressives translate their vision of America’s position in the world into international diplomacy.

Let’s call it Cloud Cuckoo Land.

A loving, caring outlook might make the coffee cake go down more easily, but sometimes when drifting about sprinkling pixie dust over our enemies hoping they’ll see reason, Cloud Cuckoo Land can become entangled in Bothersome Reality, bumping gently into gritty facts that simply won’t be wished away.

This happened a hundred years ago when, reeling under the devastation of their “victory” in World War I, our allies France and England decided that what they wanted was a little less of US President Woodrow Wilson’s high-flown principle, a little more revanche, and a whole lot more reparations.

It happened again in 1979 when Iranians decided to demonstrate to President Jimmy Carter that his pious platitudes were no substitute for a couple of dozen guys with Kalashnikovs who had had enough of our implant, the Shah, and his bevy of concubines.

And it’s getting ready to happen again.

Cloud Cuckoo Land has been very successful at substituting denial for analysis. Embassy bombings were attributed to the youthful exuberance of frustrated folks expressing themselves in their own dear way. Even a twenty-four hundred square foot hole let into the side of a United States Navy destroyer by a half ton shaped charge compliments of Struggling Islamic Disputationists resulting in by seventeen American deaths and thirty-nine casualties some of whom wished for death, was passed off as being our own fault. Ah, those zany al Qaeda guys – anything to make a point.

Then the Towers came down and jogged us out of our self-absorbed stupor. 9/11 convinced us that somebody out there really didn’t like us very much. Three thousand innocents dead in our streets being difficult to overlook, we belatedly realized we were at war.

For a while that snapped us out of it, and we got busy on defense. But after a time amid the pearly meadows of Cloud Cuckoo Land, constant vigilance came to be a lot of trouble, and besides, who were we to deny people the right to express themselves?

So our Liberal/Progressives decided to call off the war and go home. To make our point, we elected leaders who declared the war finished, renamed the enemy soldiers “criminals,” transferred them into our civil courts, and told the world that if they decided to hold a conflict, well, America just wasn’t going to attend.

Terrorists rubbed their hands, straightened their galabiyyas, and pitched in to encourage the sick, disaffected people among us to start a great killing spree. As this is written, terrorist attacks in the Homeland are continuing and are likely to increase. Explosive packages are turning up in UPS and FedEX bins. Various wild-eyed wierdos are being spotted here and there around the country trying to board busses or light their shoes or being turned away from TSA airport lines.

Our Muslim “allies” abroad are hustling terrorists through training camps with only the thinnest lip service paid to cooperating with our military. And Muslim opportunists who put that lovely faith to their own sordid uses are collecting fissionable material from North Korea and Iran fast as their trucks can scoot.

The Liberal/Progressive teenager-diplomatists who waft Cloud Cuckoo Land through these uncomfortable facts have no idea of the consequences of their actions, but are hoping desperately that at best, they’ll be out of office and safe in their academic billets, environmental legal firms, and liberal think tanks before Something Really Terrible happens.

And maybe they will. But there’s a silly little thing they can’t bring themselves to face:

All these small terroristic events are merely dry runs for a major event coming up.

But hey! We’ve caught all of those bad guys, right? Well…most of them. We intercept packages, spy on the cells, collar the fruitcakes. Every couple of months we trumpet the infiltration and capture of some little whacko group getting ready to level Cleveland in long-anticipated retaliation for the Battle of Ascalon during the First Crusade.

Besides, our Secretary of Homeland Security assures us she’s constantly vigilant and cares for us and has the safety of all of us closest to her heart. Hasn’t she ended our border problems, and did it without ever going any closer than El Paso!

Uh, okay.

Well, sorry to report there’s another tiny trifling ripple in Cuckoo Land’s otherwise placid existence that scares our Liberal power elite so much they’ve marshaled their entire force of Politically Correct drumbeaters to shout down any reference to it. Just so we don’t get these folks all of a doodah and coming after me with their accusations of Islamo-phobia and racism, let’s lose the underlined italics, crank down the type size, and just whisper:

[The terrorist threat axis is no longer from overseas, but right here at home.]

It should be painfully clear by now that these scraggly jihadist-wannabes lighting their shoes and stuffing their underwear have about zero chance of doing any business anymore. TSA is keeping the explosive-filled briefcases to a reasonable minimum, and has actually begun surveilling overseas flights on the reasonable assumption that Europeans really don’t care what goes into a baggage compartment as long as it heads out over the Atlantic.

Passengers on every flight are wary and suspicious – as they should be – and would certainly eject these lunatics from the airplane instead of sitting on them except they won\’t be able to get an exit door open in flight. This is all to the good, of course, but it guards against a threat of individual action which is fast disappearing.

Cloud Cuckoo Land is on the verge of receiving a new kind of gentle nudge against the fleecy home of the Liberal/Progressives’ beautiful vision of the world. This time the United States of America will be given an additional opportunity to atone for its sins by absorbing into its clay some tens of thousands more of its citizens than perished on 9/11, with another couple of hundred thousand so sick from hard radiation that they will wish fervently they had been in the former group now scattered here and there throughout the Homeland in lead-lined coffins.
The message these Regrettably Contentious Religious Fighters intend to send by their mushroom cloud is simply too good to pass up:

“Jihad is as strong as the Great Satan!”
“We have struck the Devil
with his own weapons in his own house!”

In order to send this message of peace to the 1.4 billion of the world’s Muslims, and at the same time to reap a glorious harvest of Infidel souls, wise jihadist heads know they will need American partners, sub-radar Muslims who can drive around without getting busted for speeding, who know how to buy gas and chat up the local constable, in short, people who won’t be noticed putting together an atom bomb, driving it to where it will do the most good, and lighting her off in a blaze of “Allahu Akbar!” and Marty The Martyr VHS tapes.

This is the future that our Liberal/Progressives’ Cloud Cuckoo Land diplomacy is preparing for us. They are so loathe to give offense, so horror-stricken at being thought politically correct by Really Important People who count in the world, the rock stars, all Europeans, and “African-Americans” who balance on their hyphens and dare anyone not to like it, that through their denial and na