Double winners… While much younger and prior to any knowledge of my own addiction, I recognized that that my mother was a worrier, filled with intense fear, and needing to be in control. She had an intense need to know everything. She was certainly religious, yet was not able to do what I recognize now as important for sanity; accepting life on life\’s terms and turning outcomes over to a Higher Power. She went to counseling and we went to counseling as a family, yet there was no change in her behavior. She stayed sick and we stayed sick. There was no biological connection to my mother, I was adopted. I am not in any way relating my drug addiction to her behavior. I do have more understanding and compassion for her behavior now.

It was not until I was a couple years into recovery, having made friends with others in AA and in Al-anon, that it occurred to me, her behavior may have resulted from being affected by alcoholism. She had mentioned on more than one occasion that she lived in fear as a child and a young person. She was afraid of her father not coming home as expected of his drinking what little they had away, and of his pouring a beer down a tube in his stomach when he had his larynx removed from cancer. She never called him an alcoholic and her accounts of what happened were brief. It appears that her behavior was never related to her experience of growing up with the uncertainty of living with an addict. I try not to live in the past, but I do wonder what her life and ours would have been like had she been involved in the 12 Step Drug Rehab Program of Al-Anon.

I do not believe my own addiction was a result of her behavior. It was mine to own, yet I knew about the 12 Step Drug Rehab Program long before I began to recover at age 46. What I now have grown to know is that when addicts work the 12 Step Drug Rehab Program and families do the same, the gift is others in their family as well as future family members have a chance those in the past did not have. This is the gift we can give our families for their future. The effects of the disease can begin to heal and the 12 Step spiritual solution can become better known. I know now even if my children are addicts, they will know there is another answer. I have been an example for them and continue to get well by working a 12 Step Drug Rehab Program for life.

With this personal experience as part of my knowledge, I have made some observations while working with addicts and their families. Treatment principles recognize addiction is a family disease and emphasizes family involvement. Family members appear to want their family member to get better, yet they appear as resistant to getting help as the addict. They want to know how to help the addict, not realizing what they can do is help themselves. If addiction is a family disease they are best served by getting treatment themselves and going to 12 Step meetings, getting a sponsor and working the steps for themselves. So it seems, at least in the beginning, the addict and the family member have some of the same symptoms of addiction: denial, wanting an instant quick fix, and wanting to do it their way.

The fact that both the addict and the family must make their own recovery unconditional also conflicts with what is best for the outcome of the family as a whole. This means for the addict to recover they must work the 12 Step Drug Rehab Program of recovery even if their family does not. The family must work a 12 Step program of recovery even if the addict does not. One part of the family being in drug rehab does influence the other, and if both are in recovery it often goes much smoother and life gets better quicker. Yes, if the addict gets better the family is influenced to get better, and if the family gets better it is more difficult for the addict to continue in their addiction. When the best possible scenario takes place and both are in recovery, WOW! What possibilities for a future! I suppose what is most important to remember is the 12 Step Drug Rehab Program is a \”we\” program, the addict needs others for recovery and support and so does the family.

Go to www.valleyhope.org to learn more. Laura Thurman, M.Ed., M.S. Counselor

Go to http://www.valleyhope.org to learn more. Laura Thurman, M.Ed., M.S. Counselor

Author Bio: Go to www.valleyhope.org to learn more. Laura Thurman, M.Ed., M.S. Counselor

Category: Wellness, Fitness and Diet
Keywords: drug rehab, drug and alcohol treatment centers, alcohol rehab, 12 Step Program, recovery, family