Many years ago when I was a missionary in Japan, a missionary from another organization molested my son. He was later sent home when another young man whom he had sexually abused reported him.

Years later, our home disintegrated under the fury of a boy who felt betrayed by parents who had not protected him from this sexual predator. We had labored under the false assumption that the right thing to do was to forgive the offender and forget the offense. Our boy got involved in drugs and drinking. He became promiscuous. He tried to strangle his mother. He ended up in jail and later did a thirty-month stint in a very expensive boarding school.

Because the mission refused to acknowledge any sexual abuse, they never offered to help us with hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills and boarding school expenses nor did they ever express any remorse. Had they reported the incident to the authorities, the pedophile would never have been able to get another job working with children at a Christian school in California. Four other victims were later identified. The mission refused to pay them too, because that would be a tacit admission of guilt in their eyes and they were not willing to accept any liability for what had happened.

Simply forgiving this man and sweeping his sins under the rug in this case led to far greater problems. Although he eventually admitted his guilt, he never sought our pardon or apologized for all the damage he had done, much less made restitution. The mission concealed the matter. No one held them accountable so they continue to deny any wrongdoing to this day, although when confronted they will admit their missionary molested at least four other boys. Over time, the violence of a troubled son caused our family to break apart. I sincerely believe this could have been prevented if the mission had followed the Biblical command to bear one another’s burdens and their own stated policy on child abuse.

Should I have forgiven the abuser? I believe it was my responsibility to manage my feelings of anger and betrayal, refrain from returning evil for evil and make forgiveness available if he should choose to accept it. But until he was willing to make amends for his behavior, he was not capable of receiving forgiveness. In this case, absolving him of responsibility for his transgressions only compounded the problem and put other young people at risk. Exposing him was the proper thing to do, even though it meant the loss of his job and eventually the breakup of his marriage.

Dan, the young man who reported the abuse to the mission, found an article I had written about the incident on the web. This is what he had to say about forgiveness, “The truth didn’t come out until years later, when I was probably eighteen or so and I mentioned it to my friend Jeff. He called up the mission and that was that. My father unbelievably asked me to come with him to meet Phil at the airport to pray with him. I couldn’t stand to see the guy.” When I notified the mission that I had made contact with another victim and that there was no more room for denial, they refused to speak with me.

One of the teachers at the Mamou Alliance Academy in New Guinea molested dozens of missionary children from 1950 to 1971. Years later these victims told an independent commission how a childhood spent in fear and trembling had left them broken adults dealing with failed marriages, addictions, attempted suicides and fear to have children of their own.

When some of the victims went to the Gospel Missionary Union, the mission of the sexual predator, for help later in life, they said they were told to forgive and forget.

One of the victims continues to ask the Gospel Missionary Union for an apology and help with her counseling bills. She also dreams about being a voice of conscience to the board of the Gospel Missionary Union.*

These missions should have come alongside their victims to offer them the comfort and support they desperately needed. Yet the chairman of one mission board, said they had discharged their responsibility by simply getting rid of the pedophile. This man also happens to be the Director of The Association for Biblical Higher Education. Incredibly, he felt no need for his mission to make amends for placing this predator on the mission field and allowing him to molest five defenseless young boys. Consequently none of these victims have been able to get a sense of resolution for the pain and suffering they endured.

*Mission Children Abused

http://blog.cleveland.com/pdextra/2010/04/mission_children_abused.html

From: The Casual Christian pp.23-24

A loyal member of the Christian church for over 40 years, Mr. Olson suffered a crisis of faith when the church turned away from him during a series of personal crises. The Casual Christian is his attempt to reconcile the callousness of the church with a faith that preaches love. http://casualchristian.net

A loyal member of the Christian church for over 40 years, Mr. Olson suffered a crisis of faith when the church turned away from him during a series of personal crises. The Casual Christian is his attempt to reconcile the callousness of the church with a faith that preaches love. http://casualchristian.net

Author Bio: A loyal member of the Christian church for over 40 years, Mr. Olson suffered a crisis of faith when the church turned away from him during a series of personal crises. The Casual Christian is his attempt to reconcile the callousness of the church with a faith that preaches love. http://casualchristian.net

Category: Religion
Keywords: church,apostles,christianity,forgiveness,sexual abuse