The majority of single parents are usually ones who have had a spouse, and for various reasons now find they are on their own, through death of their partner, or a breakdown in the relationship. The lesser would be, I suspect a woman who has by choice or otherwise found herself pregnant. Whichever the case, one person will find themselves the lone provider for their child, and the other will have a shared position. Each situation will have many issues, which can be overcome, and have many rewards for a job well done.

I personally have only known a mother and father in the same home sharing the responsibilities of rearing children from my upbringing, to the rearing, with my husband, of my own children, but have also seen parenting from a totally different viewpoint with family members having marriage upsets, and children being split into two family homes. When this takes place, the best outcome for all is when both parents can agree to be able to work together for the child\’s sake, having the same set of rules in each house, etc and to keep life as well balanced as possible. Unfortunately what starts out with good ideas sometimes falls into chaos, as over time very often anger starts to arise between the feuding parents, and when the money issues arise. Packing a bag and making the decision to leave is the easiest act in the world.

Looking at it from a child\’s point of view when there is only one parent, they are usually in a situation that they don\’t desire, so at all times it is important for each parent to not speak negatively of the other one, as remember that the child loves you both equally, and over the years will make up their own mind of the situation. Unfortunately the child will often blame themselves for the family break up, so by being as positive about the other parent as possible will surely only help their little mind to absorb all what has gone on. Try to focus on the good things that you saw and fell in love with, and not let hate rule you, as this all rubs off onto the child.

Having their own clothes, toys and their “stuff”at each home is a more relaxing way for the child, to have 2 homes rather than just spending time with one parent and living with the other. This excludes the possibility of the child turning up with needing more clothes each time. DON\’T PLAY GAMES, as it is the children who suffer. Good things can always come out of a disaster, so make their room fun, and even let them help you decorate it with their hand made bits, or on your buying spree, but try not to outdo the other home.

Try as much as possible to celebrate special outings together with the child, ie. school occasions and other times where a mum and dad is needed, always being amicable as possible to each other, as these things are really important to a growing child. Remember you are going to be co-parents for the rest of your lives and there will be lots of times that it is lovely to have the whole family attend, so try to make the best of it.

As with rearing any child it is important to be consistent, and have clear guide lines on what is acceptable in life and what is not. So many children are all over the place because the boundary line is so wide, and single parents will often find that children try to play one parent off against the other which can cause slackness in the rearing. Hold fast, and let your yes be YES and your no be NO. Sometimes it\’s just too bad so sad! Often men fall into the trap of being a good time weekend dad and mum is the one dishing out the authority.

A child from a one parent home from birth has the luxury of just one parent with one set of ideas, which can have rewards, but from the lone parent they don\’t have the joy of sharing all the little things with, first smiles etc, and also someone to share the load when times get tired and testy. It is important for the baby to be around other people, so as they grow up they are happy to be with others not just mum, so that they have a healthy balance and not just a cocoon, and trust others.

The other critical piece of creating a village of adults for your child is gender balance. Your child needs examples of healthy men and women for him or her to learn from and pattern themselves after. Most people have friends and relatives they can trust.

It is important to look after yourself when you are a sole parent in the home. Take time out to do one special thing each day if possible that you enjoy, and certainly make the most of your free time when you aren\’t looking after your child. If you feel you are exhausted or emotional find help, before burn-out leads to child abuse, or you say or do something you just can\’t take back. A bank that has run dry can\’t pay out, so see that your bank is filled in the most satisfying way that suits you.

A child that is respectful to others and themselves is a joy to behold, and if you can sit back and see that above all else you have imparted these skills into your child or children then a good days work has been done. Love yourself, and then you can love others, and remember a perfect parent has yet to be born !!!

This article was created by Ian Moffat in an effort to ease the burden that is part of raising children on your own as a single mother or father and to provide constructive advice to help those parents. More information can be found on his website http://www.singleparenthelpguide.com

This article was created by Ian Moffat in an effort to ease the burden that is part of raising children on your own as a single mother or father and to provide constructive advice to help those parents. More information can be found on his website http://www.singleparenthelpguide.com

Author Bio: This article was created by Ian Moffat in an effort to ease the burden that is part of raising children on your own as a single mother or father and to provide constructive advice to help those parents. More information can be found on his website http://www.singleparenthelpguide.com

Category: Parenting
Keywords: you are a sole parent, only one parent