Imagine this scenario: your girlfriend dumps you, but wants to remain friends. You still get to talk, email each other, hang out together… it\’s like you never broke up! Great, right? Umm… not exactly. Because if you\’re trying to get back an ex girlfriend, being friends with her is the worst idea imaginable. Find out why becoming buddies with your ex always leads to bad things, and how you can avoid the friendship trap.

You\’ll find a ton of articles that take you by the hand and show you how to stay friendly with your exgirlfriend after your relationship ends. This definitely isn\’t one of them. Unlike the rest of those guides, this one recognizes that if you\’re reading this right now… you\’re here because you still have feelings for your ex girlfriend. Why deny it? Covering up your true emotions and then pretending to enjoy your ex\’s company in a friendship type situation is a long, miserable road that leads absolutely nowhere. You\’ll be further and further estranged from any type of romantic connection as you get to watch your girl move on with other guys.

Well I\’m here to slap the friendship out of your hand and put you back on track.

Being friends with your exgirlfriend is like putting on a mask and pretending to be someone you\’re not. The entire situation is filled with fake smiles, small talk, anxiety, jealousy, and pretend happiness every time your ex accomplishes something without you in her life. Close your eyes for a minute. Now imagine the taste you\’ll have in your mouth when your new ex girl \”friend\” announces she\’s met this great new guy and she starts dating again. Pretty sour? Yup. That\’s because you want to be that guy… but instead, you\’re just the friend. The buddy. The late night phone call, and the shoulder she leans on.

Do you envision a future where you and your ex might be dating again? Well then instead of playing the role of your exgirlfriend\’s new platonic pal, why wouldn\’t you concentrate on getting her back? Because the only way to put her in your arms again is to actually work toward winning her heart again. This type of romantic approach certainly doesn\’t involve being a friend, because friends don\’t do such things.

When you get dumped by a girl you really only have two options: you move on with your life, or you fight for the relationship. Staying friends after the break up is neither of those things… it\’s a weird limbo that exists in between. You\’ll get lost in that limbo, until one day the friendship ends and you\’re unceremoniously dumped for her new boyfriend.

And anyone who\’s told you they\’ve managed to remain friends with an ex? They\’re lying their ass off. Either they still have supressed, unreturned feelings for this girl (and are waiting around desperately), or they\’re involved in a friends-with-benefits type relationship. Maybe even both. Either way, they\’re hanging around waiting for that one missing piece: the long term relationship. And when you\’re sitting around being friends with your ex girlfriend? That piece is never going to come.

\”But if I stay friends with my ex, won\’t she eventually see me as a boyfriend again?\”

Not a chance. In fact, the longer you play the part of her phone and email buddy, the more your ex sees you as someone she likes only as a buddy. One day down the line you might get desperate and try to make your move… and you\’ll be met with an outstretched hand and a resounding \”Hey, I thought we were just friends\”. She\’ll feel awkward, you\’ll feel stupid, and you know what\’s the worst part? You actually put yourself into this situation voluntarily. You were the one who accepted her offer to stay friends after she dumped you, instead of trying to get her back like you should\’ve.

Still not convinced? Still think you can pull off the exgirlfriend friendship? Well let\’s take a quick look at what your ex gets from such an arrangement:

* The companionship of staying in touch with you

* The comfort of still having you around, without the commitment

* Someone to hang out with when she\’s lonely

* Someone to cheer her up when she\’s sad, and entertain her when she\’s bored

* An email penpal, a text-message buddy, a Facebook contact

* A guy who she knows is always there for her, wrapped around her little finger

And hmmm… let\’s check out all the wonderful things you get from her:

* Extreme jealousy

* Endless small talk

* The fear of her meeting another guy

* The loneliness of waiting around for her

* The anxiety of worrying if she still loves you

* The joy of pretending not to still be in love with her

* The churning in your stomach when she announces a new boyfriend

Fair trade? Are you getting your end of the bargain? This is only some of the awesome stuff you have to look forward to when you and your ex stay friends.

In all seriousness, you need to recognize your own feelings. If you\’re trying to establish a friendship with your ex girlfriend just so you don\’t have to go through the pain of fully losing her, all you\’re really doing is delaying that pain. To get back an ex girlfriend you first need to let go – accept the break up – understand that it\’s over and try to reconcile it in your own mind. Once you can do this, that\’s when you can begin on the road to winning your ex back.

Even if by some miracle you could turn off your feelings for your exgirlfriend, you still couldn\’t be friends with her. Such an arrangement gets pulled apart by outside forces yanking on it from every direction. Want some examples? Let\’s say your ex starts dating a new guy. Is he going to let your friendship continue, knowing that you once dated his new girlfriend? Or is he going to keep this girl as far away from you as possible, to protect his own interests?

And what about when you meet a new girl? Can you openly disclose this great friendship you have with your ex girlfriend? Or will you lie to her, keeping your past history a secret for fear of her not liking your friend simply because she used to sleep with you? All of these factors will destroy even the most platonic arrangement you make with your ex. No matter how much the two of you would like things to be simple, other people who love you will always complicate them. The friendship eventually collapses under the pressure, and one of you ends up getting hurt.

Listen up: Don\’t use friendship as a temporary replacement for the long term relationship you really want with your ex girlfriend. Go out and get that relationship back by working toward that goal. You can\’t use friendship as a crowbar to pry yourself back into your ex\’s heart… it just doesn\’t work that way. You need a concrete, step-by-step plan by getting your ex back.

So what do you do when your ex wants to be friends with you? Let her know you simply can\’t do it. Say it nicely, but also say it in a way that makes her understand why. You have feelings for her that go way beyond friendship, and you can\’t just turn those feelings off like flipping a light switch. You can\’t trade those feelings in for ones of friendship either. Let her know that staying in touch wouldn\’t be fair to either of you, and then walk away.

By allowing your ex to face the break up alone, she doesn\’t get the benefit of being able to call or see you. What happens now? Your ex must face the idea of actually losing you… something she hasn\’t had to do yet, and something she never has to do if she keeps you around as a friend. Which is why friendship is such an attractive prospect to her, after she dumps you.

If you want to get back together with your ex, you need to create an environment in which you\’re not around… so she misses you. Thinks about you. Needs your company again. These things will never happen while you\’re still in constant contact, which is why being friends never leads to reversing your break up.

What do you do now? Well for one, you can stop reading articles on how to forge a shiny happy friendship with your ex girlfriend. Instead, go about learning the ways back into her heart. Refuse friendship, and fight to fix your broken relationship instead. Getting started is a lot easier than you think it is.

No matter what you do after your ex breaks up with you, the one thing you need is a solid plan. There are 8 individual Steps to Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend. Be sure to check them out, and find out what your opening moves should be to Get Back Your Ex.

No matter what you do after your ex breaks up with you, the one thing you need is a solid plan. There are 8 individual Steps to http://www.get-back-your-ex-girlfriend.com Be sure to check them out, and find out how to http://www.getbackex.net

Author Bio: No matter what you do after your ex breaks up with you, the one thing you need is a solid plan. There are 8 individual Steps to Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend. Be sure to check them out, and find out what your opening moves should be to Get Back Your Ex.

Category: Break-up
Keywords: get her back, get girlfriend back, get ex girlfriend back, ex girlfriend back, win her back, exback