If you ask most couples who have been married for a long time and are still in love what the secret to their success is, an overwhelming number of them will give you a short three word answer, communication, respect, and trust. These three things are what makes up the foundation of any relationship but are especially important to a marriage. Any problems that may arise in a relationship can usually be attributed to a lack of one of these three principles and most of them can be reversed. There is one exception that can be hard or dangerous to forgive and that is violence and abuse. If one of the people in the relationship is demonstrating this type of behavior toward the other, the best option is an immediate divorce. Abuse violates all three of the relationship foundation principle and should never be ignored. On the other hand, most other kinds of relationship problems can be remedied by improving these three areas.

Communication is the first and perhaps most important aspects of a relationship if you want it to last. Most people are in touch at some level with their partner’s feelings but that does not mean they can always automatically determine the cause of stress or other negative emotions. It is very important to communicate your problems with your partner and allow them to help you through tough situations. Many people believe that sharing their troubles with their partner will burden their loved one and cause them stress. While there may be an initial period of stress at hearing the one they love is hurting, ultimately they will be able to be more understanding and not feel like they have done something wrong. On the other hand, if it is the actions or words of your partner that have caused you stress, communicating how they caused you to feel is the only way they will have an opportunity to apologize or remedy the situation.

Respect is also another very important element in any relationship. A lack of respect will lead to hurtful situations and a feeling of dissatisfaction in the relationship. A successful relationship can only work if both people feel like they are equals and that their feelings, opinions, and thoughts are equal in value. If one person becomes the boss in the relationship they will begin to feel like they have taken on the entire burden and begin to resent the other person, while the one being left out may begin to feel undervalued. This can all lead to a breakdown in communication and an overall sense of unhappiness.

Finally, trust is imperative in a relationship. It is unfair to bring your previous baggage with you into a relationship. If you have decided to marry someone you must put aside all of your previous fears and trust them. A relationship that has trust will be free of fear and resentments that can lead to micromanaging and suspiciousness. If you have done something to break the trust in your relationship, it is up to you to use communication and respect to try to earn back the trust of your loved one. Remember, even the smallest lie that seems inconsequential can cause your partner to begin to doubt other areas of your relationship and wonder what else you have lied about.

Communicating openly with each other as equals will help build the trust you need to avoid relationship problems or a divorce down the road.

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Category: Marriage
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