Have you ever stared at yourself in a mirror? It is a surreal experience. When you stare deeply, un-halting for a period of time, the face in the mirror becomes almost unrecognizable. Weird! Is that me? What are those lines, those red spots, why does my nose look so big? Can I see inside the image if I stare hard enough? Is the image in the mirror who I am or is it just the container for who I am?

Thank god, the image is not our identity. When we let go of believing that we are that image, we can free ourselves. That image will age, gracefully I hope, but age it will. Our hair will grey; the lines on our faces will deepen. But you can love who you are none-the-less.

This is not an egotistical love of self. It is that deep smile, that authentic feeling in your heart that feels light and, to some extent, without care. Most often we experience that sense of loving who we are when we give of ourselves. If you don’t have love within yourself, love of yourself, you have nothing to give to others. It’s like wanting to give someone apples but all you have are oranges.

It’s not that every day I wake up filled with self-love, the should, could and would have’s of yesterday can get in the way. But on those days when I feel less love for myself and hear that reprimanding voice, the best way to get that feeling back is to give. There is always some part of us we can share to make someone else’s day just a little bit better. It can be a gesture as small as holding the door open for someone, letting some one go ahead on a line, asking the clerk how they are feeling today or telling them what pretty eyes they have or what a great tie or, dare to say “good morning” to a passerby on the streets of New York City.

If you give it away, you get back that feeling. Those gestures will bring a smile to your face and your heart will begin to fill with good feelings. We’ve all heard about exercise, the runner’s high and the release of endorphins, the “feel good hormones”. Did you know that a mere smile gets those endorphins flowing? Just as the runner goes back out to run, you too will want those good feelings released on a daily basis and it can take only a small gesture.

I volunteer for a local Hospice doing bereavement follow-up phone calls. Grief work is my career however; there are many who cannot afford my services. So, to help as many as possible, I give a few hours a week to those grieving a loss just to let them know that someone is there for them. Aside from the thank you I receive just from taking the few minutes to check in, I can always hear the smile on the other side of the phone. Every week I feel that in my giving a little bit of my time, I get back tenfold.

Next time you stare in the mirror, smile at that image and then go out and smile at the next passer-by. Enjoy the feeling of loving yourself.

Audrey is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Health Coach. Having been widowed at the age of 37 with 4 young children, she initially sought out the assistance of those professionals she thought might be able to help, but who in fact had no experience in working with a young widow with years of raising children ahead of her. Experiencing the absence of support in the traditional system, Audrey pursued complimentary therapies and earned certification in Guided Imagery, Yoga, Meditation, Nutrition and Grief Recovery and implemented those tools through her own grief journey. She helps women who have experienced loss move through the grief and being moving forward in their lives. Audrey works virtually with clients one-on-one and provides group telephone programs on Grief Recovery and Healthy Living After Loss. You can see her upcoming programs atwww.wisewidow.com. Audrey speaks to corporations on the subject of grief in the workplace and how to support employees returning to work after a loss and provides training for managers, human resources and co-workers. Audrey launched the first Death Cafe\’ in NYC on February 20th and was featured in theJune 17th edition of The New York Times http://goo.gl/5sgYe. Audrey also had the NY Times Quotation of the Day for June 17th 2013, \”Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society. If we talk about them, maybe we won\’t fear them as much.\” She is the author of \”Six Secrets to Surviving Widowhood\”. http://www.wisewidow.com or Contact Audrey at 914-703-2688 or audrey@wisewidow.com

Audrey is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Health Coach. Having been widowed at the age of 37 with 4 young children, she initially sought out the assistance of those professionals she thought might be able to help, but who in fact had no experience in working with a young widow with years of raising children ahead of her. Experiencing the absence of support in the traditional system, Audrey pursued complimentary therapies and earned certification in Guided Imagery, Yoga, Meditation, Nutrition and Grief Recovery and implemented those tools through her own grief journey. She helps women who have experienced loss move through the grief and being moving forward in their lives. Audrey works virtually with clients one-on-one and provides group telephone programs on Grief Recovery and Healthy Living After Loss. You can see her upcoming programs http://atwww.wisewidow.com. Audrey speaks to corporations on the subject of grief in the workplace and how to support employees returning to work after a loss and provides training for managers, human resources and co-workers. Audrey launched the first Death Cafe\’ in NYC on February 20th and was featured in theJune 17th edition of The New York Times http://goo.gl/5sgYe. Audrey also had the NY Times Quotation of the Day for June 17th 2013, “Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society. If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.” She is the author of \”Six Secrets to Surviving Widowhood\”. http://www.wisewidow.com or Contact Audrey at 914-703-2688 or audrey@wisewidow.com

Author Bio: Audrey is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Health Coach. Having been widowed at the age of 37 with 4 young children, she initially sought out the assistance of those professionals she thought might be able to help, but who in fact had no experience in working with a young widow with years of raising children ahead of her. Experiencing the absence of support in the traditional system, Audrey pursued complimentary therapies and earned certification in Guided Imagery, Yoga, Meditation, Nutrition and Grief Recovery and implemented those tools through her own grief journey. She helps women who have experienced loss move through the grief and being moving forward in their lives. Audrey works virtually with clients one-on-one and provides group telephone programs on Grief Recovery and Healthy Living After Loss. You can see her upcoming programs atwww.wisewidow.com. Audrey speaks to corporations on the subject of grief in the workplace and how to support employees returning to work after a loss and provides training for managers, human resources and co-workers. Audrey launched the first Death Cafe\’ in NYC on February 20th and was featured in theJune 17th edition of The New York Times http://goo.gl/5sgYe. Audrey also had the NY Times Quotation of the Day for June 17th 2013, \”Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society. If we talk about them, maybe we won\’t fear them as much.\” She is the author of \”Six Secrets to Surviving Widowhood\”. http://www.wisewidow.com or Contact Audrey at 914-703-2688 or audrey@wisewidow.com

Category: Self Help
Keywords: self, self-love, relationships, peace, advice, acceptance