There are many signs that can indicate that your relationship is suffering and is experiencing a steady decline. No two relationships are the same but there are some common warning signs that you may be in an unhealthy relationship. When you begin to feel unhappy it may take you a while to figure out that it is your marriage that is the source of most of your problems. This does not mean that divorce is the only answer but it does mean you need to address some serious problems in your relationship if you want it to survive. If you examine your behavior and notice one or more of the following examples, you will have to decide if your relationship is worth repairing or if it is time to get divorced and move on.

Are you spending a lot of time with someone who is not your spouse? Many relationships ultimately crumble when one person strays and begins an affair with another person. Affairs can range greatly. The most common affairs reach a physical level, but even an emotional affair can be damaging to a marriage. Many people fail to see the warning signs. If you notice yourself arranging to meet a friend for lunch and not telling your spouse about it or saying you are working late so that you can meet your friend for drinks and not have to explain it to your spouse, you could be involved in an emotional affair. Communicating honestly with your spouse is imperative if you want to maintain a healthy relationship and if you begin to cut your spouse out of your life because you have found someone else to share your time and thoughts with, you are having an affair even if it is not a physical one.

Searching for ways to include other people in everything you do is also a sign that you do not enjoy being alone with your partner. Spending time alone with your spouse is very important because it helps you maintain an intimate bond and the communication necessary for a healthy relationship. If you never find time to just sit and talk, or never get excited about going out and doing things together as a couple, you cannot expect the marriage to survive. If the idea of going on a weekend trip as a couple does not sound appealing, you may want to examine why exactly it is that you do not want to spend time with your spouse. If every time you plan something you invite your friends along it is unlikely you will have a healthy relationship and be able to communicate. This can lead to fights that could make your friends shy away from spending time with the two of you.

If you start to feel bad about yourself, or like you are a constant failure, you may need to examine your relationship. As marriages begin to fail, each person will become less tolerant of the others faults. This can lead to a defensive approach and snap judgments rather than open communication. If you and your partner are constantly fighting and pointing out each other’s flaws, it may be time to take a step back and find a new way to talk with each other.

You have to remember that you should never expect someone to completely change who they are. If you find yourself constantly wishing that the other person would look at things a different way, or behave and react differently, you may not be suited for each other.

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Category: Marriage
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