Whether driving or flying, going on vacation with children can be fun, but a little bit of hell is always mixed in there, too. Kids get tired, parents get tired, patience wanes, and people get “testy.” Sometimes, it feels more like an endurance game than a vacation.

Road Trips

Road trips with children are hard, no matter how enticing the destination. It’s a five- hour drive from our house to my parents’ house. If we stop to give the kids a break along the way, it can easily turn into a seven- or eight-hour drive. If I try to drive straight through, I have to hope Oliver will sleep for most, if not all, of the journey. If he cries, I either have to endure his screams or find some way to pull over and appease him. But eventually I have to put him back in the car seat for the rest of the drive, which sets him off screaming again.

Assuming that both children are mercifully asleep, what happens if I need to use the bathroom? This is manageable if I’m traveling with my husband, but I often make the trip alone and, in desperation, have had to pee in the parking lot at rest areas and fast food restaurants (when no one was looking, of course).

Flying

Airlines do us the great favor of not charging for children under two years of age. We may save some money, but that also means they’re sitting on our laps for the duration of the flight. We had this pleasure last year, when we moved from the U.K. to the U.S. Still, it was better than a previous international flight, when, in their wisdom, the check-in staff sat us directly across from the area curtained off for the flight crew’s sleep and breaks.

On that trip, William was old enough to want to run around and treat the airplane like his own private playground. At some point during the flight, one of the attendants pointed out that the area across the aisle was where the flight crew was trying to get some sleep, and my child was keeping them all awake. My husband, who wasn’t there to witness the scene, returned from the bathroom to find me in tears. He defended my honor and made the guy come back and apologize to me. I have never been so glad for a flight to be over.

Eating Out

When traveling with small children, my husband and I always try to find a self- service apartment with a kitchen, rather than a hotel. Hotels require you to eat in a restaurant every night, which can be stressful with small children. That doesn’t stop us from frequenting them, but we don’t go thinking we’re going to relax and enjoy interesting conversation. Kids get bored – quickly. Keeping them on their best behavior while confined to a seat and a table can be a monumental task.

If we’ve had the bright idea to go to a restaurant with friends and their children, things are further complicated by contending with “their rules” and “your rules.” If it were up to me, I’d consign all (older) children at the table to the space beneath our feet, notwithstanding any filth or food that may reside there. At least that might provide an opportunity for a decent adult conversation. Most parents don’t share my philosophy, so there is a lot of, “Will you get out from under the table, NOW!” I know restaurants are not places for hanging out underneath tables, but I just want to have a conversation. Is that so wrong?

Whether it’s flying, driving or sitting, asking a child to stay still and be good for any length of time is a tall order. Some kids are better at it than others. Almost every time we fly on an airplane, take the kids on a road trip, or sit in a restaurant, there comes at least one moment in the evening when I ask myself, “Was this really worth it?”

Staying cooped up in the house wouldn’t solve anything. So we take them on vacation. We take them to restaurants and shops. There may have been a time when children were cloistered in their home until puberty, but those days are long gone. If having William play under the table and roll in filth means that I don’t have to cook for an evening, it’s a price I am willing to pay.

Author Bio: With three boys aged 5 and under, Leta Hamilton credits a lifetime of studying the Spiritual Truths with helping her keep the chaos of modern motherhood in perspective. For information on her weekly The Way of the Toddler radio show, book and blog go to http://www.thewayofthetoddler.com

Category: Travel
Keywords: Leta Hamilton, parenting, travel with kids, way of the toddler, parenting advice,