There’s a strange paradox to running a game: you want your friends to have fun, but you also need them to focus on the game at hand so as to immerse themselves in the story. A great DM knows when to let the players sit back and joke and laugh and goof off, and when to call their attention to the game and settle the players down. But how do you do this? What’s the right balance to strive for, and how can you get your player’s attention without seeming a bore or a tyrant?

The first thing you have to realize and always remember is that the DM sets the tone of the game. The players will take their cues from you, so that if you’re laughing and joking, they’ll understand that now is the time to laugh and joke as well, and that they need not worry about being ‘IC’ because the DM isn’t pushing the game. If you’re serious and focused they’ll realize the opposite; the game is getting started once more, and now is the time to buckle down and get to work.

Tone also is set by the nature of the game you’re running. A wacky super-heroes game where everything is comical and light hearted will naturally result in a sillier game; an intense horror game like Call of Cthulhu or Ravenloft will demand a completely different atmosphere, and how you approach running these games will determine much of the tone. Something as simple as turning down the lights can help settle people, or playing the right kind of music. Your language and descriptions will set the tone as well; speaking seriously, intensely, and putting some effort into describing how creepy the scenario is will signal to the players what approach they need to take.

Sometimes however your players will just get too riled up to focus, especially after a really good joke or if they haven’t seen each other in awhile. Often it’s a good idea for the DM to let players have a good half hour to settle in, to catch up, to exchange stories, grab their drinks and focus on the game. Rushing this half hour is usually futile, and will result in the players feeling harried. However, if this sort of breakdown happens midgame, you’re faced with two choices: call a break, get up and go into the kitchen, let everybody get the hilarity out of their systems, or sternly call for their attention by asking the loudest joker at the table what their character is doing.

It’s a hard call on the DM’s part to know when to push the game, and when to let the good times roll. You can’t focus exclusively on just one; a DM who insists everybody be serious all the time will create a strained atmosphere that will leak the fun out of the game, while a DM who is always joking and never imposes some discipline will run a loose and unfocused game that will ultimately fail to please anybody.

Now, if there’s a particularly disruptive player who won’t buckle down, who insists on always joking and distracting the others, taken them aside and have a word. Don’t confront them before everybody, because that will just put them on the defensive, but rather wait for a natural break in the game when people stand up and mill around, and take that person aside. Then simply tell them you feel the game’s gone a little off the rails, and you need their help in getting it back on track. Say you need them to help ground the other players by getting more IC, and see if this positive way of asking them to be more serious does the trick. If not, a second, harder conversation might be in order, and ultimately if this player simply won’t take the game seriously, you might need to speak to the group about whether that player needs to go.

Hopefully you’ll not need to resort to such dire recourses, and will instead learn how to ride the waves of hilarity and good times so that you can rein in your players when the time to get started appears, and let them laugh and enjoy themselves when they need an outlet for their amusement. Don’t be afraid of calling for breaks, and use your tone, the lighting and music to help set the mood. With these tools you should be set to run a focused game interspersed with moments of relaxation and hilarity!

Author Bio: Check out more DMing tips at my DMing Basics blog. Also, why not get away from the gaming table occasionally to get in shape? Slim in 6 is an excellent, easy to phase into exercise regimen that can help you lose weight in just 6 weeks. Compliment it with Shakeology, a delicious and nutritious meal replacement shake!

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