We’ve talked about stress and the elements that bring it into our lives, or stressors. Identifying our stressors can be a powerful first step, for obvious reasons – if we know what’s giving us grief, we can take steps to put it out of our way, resolve it or come to terms with it. Even in the cases where we can’t totally remove a stressor, such as a confrontational coworker, we can find ways to moderate its influence. In the case of such a coworker, for instance, we might find time to talk things out with them and ask them to ease up, or identify something that’s bothering them and help reduce it in hopes that they become more amenable.

One of the most important ways to identify stressors and their role is to figure out their theme. A theme is a sort of thread that ties seemingly different elements into the same whole. What seems like many problems is actually just one related, overall problem. Once we know our major stress themes, we can begin taking more appropriate big-picture steps along with smaller ones.

Getting Started

If you’ve been keeping up with your stress log, there’s good news: You’ve already started identifying your stressors!

Remember that we asked you to note down everything, no matter how trivial, that was causing you stress. Record keeping is an important step, because it allows you to see the picture both in terms of raw information and in terms of time elapsed. Now that you have a week or more of information in your log, it’s time to start arranging it by theme. The following themes are in no particular order of importance, as each has an impact on you.

Theme 1 – Time

For this theme, look at the various stressors and see what the times involved with them are. Which ones persisted over the whole week, day after day? Which ones popped up at random but didn’t last very long?

Long-term stressors are those that don’t change: good examples include a major project at work that requires a good deal of your attention and trouble with your car or money issues that make it hard to get important things done. Short-term stressors are those that arise and are dealt with, but still interrupt things even if they’re only around for a day or two.

Theme 2 – People

It’s a fact that most of the stress in our lives comes from other people. From the person who can’t seem to get things done and comes to you for help to the driver who cut you off and nearly caused a wreck to get through a red light, people introduce a random element to our lives that can make coping something similar to a demanding ballet performance.

So, as your next theme, mark down your stressors as related to the people that introduced them. This will allow you to see if any particular names keep popping up. Remember to include the most minor elements too – even if you want to be generous-minded, you’re trying to make a realistic assessment with the log, so don’t exclude someone just because you want to be nice. Even if they a legitimate reason for introducing stress to your life, it’s still stress and you need to be honest about it.

Theme 3 – Places

Humans are an associative species. We don’t realize it all the time, but we often relate our feelings to our location. If we’re always arguing at home, we feel unconsciously uncomfortable when we’re home even if an argument isn’t immediately going on. If we got sick eating a certain food, being around that food again might make us feel sick even if there’s nothing wrong with it this time.

So, write down the places associated with each stressor you come across. See if any major consistencies arise about where your worst stressors seem to be.

Theme 4 – Intensity

How much did a stressor bother you? Did it just annoy you for a few moments, or did it induce an outright panic attack because it was so important and seemed to come out of nowhere? Was your reaction somewhere in between these extremes, or do you tend to go toward the far ends of reaction immediately?

Knowing how much an event affected you is important. Dealing with stress can be done multiple ways; some people like to tackle all the small problems and get them out of the way, others want to dismantle their biggest grievance so they have the energy to handle the rest of the problems that come up during the day. Devise a 1-5 scale of your choosing, and rank your stressors on it accordingly.

Finally, Analyze

Having put all the information into one of these four themes, sit down at the same time each week to go over the information you’ve gathered. Making it an appointment is crucial to turning this into a habit rather than forcing it to fit into your life.

Compare two themes at a time, to start. Do certain people seem to inflict longer-term stressors on you? Do your most intense stressors seem to happen at work, or at home? Compare them in any combination you wish, and you’ll begin to see the patterns emerge. This use of themes will help you identify where the most action is needed, so that you can begin taking steps without feeling lost.

Author Bio: Larry Tobin is a co-creator of HabitChanger.com, offering effective and empowering solutions for stopping stress. Try our 42-day program that will help you learn proactive habits to beat stress and keep you moving forward in the right direction.

Category: Wellness, Fitness and Diet
Keywords: Stop Stressing, Stopping Stress, Reduce Stress, Stress Reliever, Stress Solutions, Manage Stress