It has become very common to send out save-the-date cards many months before a wedding. At the bottom of the cards, one usually finds the notation “invitation to follow”. But what if the invitation does not follow? This is a look at the question of whether a save-the-date is the same as a wedding invitation.

I was recently shocked to learn that some people send out save-the-dates and never follow up them up with a proper wedding invitation for certain guests. It was always my understanding that couples ironed out the details of their guest list and budget before issuing save-the-date cards, but apparently, it is not all that uncommon for a couple to send out tons of notices and later decide to cut their guest list. The result is that someone may have received a save-the-date, but does not end up being officially invited to the wedding later on.

This is truly appalling! Anyone who has been sent a request to reserve a particular date to attend a wedding has every expectation that they will, in fact, be invited. When advance travel arrangements are necessary, many people will buy their plane tickets and book their vacation time from work based on the save-the-date notice. For a destination wedding or one over a holiday weekend (common reasons to send advance notice of the wedding date), waiting until the formal invitation arrives in the mail will often make it too late to schedule time off of work or get a reasonable airfare. Imagine if someone bought plane tickets, only to later find out that they were dropped from the guest list before the formal invitations were mailed. It is absolutely inexcusable!

Yet, there are people who do reserve a date for a wedding as requested, and are then left to wonder where the invitation is when the wedding draws near. There are several possibilities: the formal invitation could have been sent but lost in the mail, the couple could have cut their guest list, or they may have waited until the last minute to send out the invites. It is not actually all that uncommon for brides to think that since they sent the save-the-date notices, they can wait until the 11th hour to get the formal invitations in the mail. However, it is rather stressful for guests, and leaves very little time to send in the R.s.v.p.s, so it is not a good idea to procrastinate on sending the invitations.

Sometimes couples will also cut costs by skipping the formal invitation to people who they know are coming. A bridesmaid, for instance, might have received a save-the-date, but then no official invitation later. Maybe the bride thinks, she already bought her dress and bridesmaid jewelry – obviously she is coming. While surely the attendant who has purchased her bridesmaid dress and jewelry does indeed plan to attend the wedding, it is still considerate to send her a formal invitation. The same goes for your immediate family. Sure you know your dad will be there (he is walking you down the aisle, after all!), but still send him the formal invitation follow up to the save-the-date card. It is always fun to get a beautiful wedding invitation in the mail, and your close friends and family want to be made to feel special and not taken for granted.

In conclusion, a save-the-date notice absolutely obligates the couple to send a formal invitation. Yet, if a person receives only the save-the-date, but never the follow up, they may have to go on the assumption that they are not invited. In that case, it is best to either wait and see (if the wedding is local) or to gently ask if the wedding is still happening on the reserved date, on the pretext of having received another invitation for that same day. Of course, merely having received a save-the-date notice does not obligate a person to attend a wedding, so if no formal invitation ever materializes, feel free to make other plans.

Author Bio: Bridget Mora writes for Silverland Jewelry about weddings, style, and etiquette. Treat your attendants to beautiful bridesmaid jewelry from http://silverlandjewelry.com/ and receive complimentary shipping on your jewelry order over $99.

Category: Marriage
Keywords: save the dates, wedding invitations, bridesmaid jewelry, wedding etiquette