So often we live our lives pretending to be someone we aren’t. We play games, adopt roles, try to impress others and forget to really express the truth of who we are.

As we live this, not only do we deceive others, inadvertently we deceive ourselves. We begin to forget the truth of our own lives and who we really are. Then we do not understand why there is an gnawing sense of anxiety, disappointment, or the lack of fulfillment we live with. Many have no idea what is wrong, and search for the answer in work, relationships, money or drink.

But living this way never brings true fulfillment. Although we may know we are off track, it can be hard to discover what. We have forgotten who we truly we, what we want and need in order to feel happy and real.

In order to know who you are, you must also know who you are not, what is false and unworkable in your life, where you are living someone else’s dream. You must know what feels disturbing, fundamentally out of synch with your truth. It’s important to acknowledge that which you cannot do, that which is not for you. So many spend years of their lives twisting themselves to conform to expectations of others about who they are, or should become. Families are famous for projecting these images and demands on its members, as are people “in love”. However, these images which are projected onto us can be lethal. They cause pain, distortion and lack of self acceptance, lack of knowing and living our truth.

Take a moment, see what is natural, easy, enjoyable for you, what actually brings enthusiasm about being alive. Then, take another moment to see what is not natural, easy, or enjoyable, what causes conflict, difficulty, confusion and distress. What is it that pulls you down, hurts your feeling, upsets your digestion? Usually you do not give heed to this. Now is the time to turn it around. The first step is to take a good look. The next step is to say No, to clean it out of your life and heart.

A great teacher, Soen Nakagawa Roshi said that usually when we want to find beauty in a room we bring in many fancy things, furniture, paintings, rugs, decorations. However, to find what we are looking for, it is better to take everything out of the room. When it is empty, its original beauty appears. When we take everything out of the room, we are saying No to whatever it is in there that we don’t want. We are emptying the room of all decoration to get to its original form.

The more you let go of that which is “not” who you are, which is unworkable and causes distress, the more room you create empty space and the ability to see who you truly are, what you love and what is meaningful for you.

You Are Granted Dominion In Your Own Life and World

Your life is a precious gift to you and to the world. No person, no thought, no emotion is granted dominion over you. You have ultimate power to choose the direction in which you want to go.

Discover how to release fear and build fearless relationships in Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind. www.becomefearless.org. Psychologist, author and speaker presents life changing exercises and guidelines to help you become confident, clear and able to handle whatever comes along. Contact her at topspeaker@ayhoo.com.

Author Bio: Become Confident, Clear and Able to Handle Whatever Comes Along. Learn to release fear, build fearless relationships and succeed in Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind,www.becomefearless.org, Life changing exercises by psychologist, author and speaker. Contact at topspeaker@yahoo.com

Category: Self Help
Keywords: success, confident, happy, relationships, fearless, love, marriage, dating, business, counseling