Something’s not quite right. An uneasy sort of dissatisfaction with your partner, with your relationship, is fluttering around the corners of your mind. A sort of malaise clouds your view and a sort of depression accompanies it. This is definitely a problem. If this is allowed to grow, you’ll find your body getting out of sorts, too. You need a paradigm shift. A new way to sort through your life and appreciate it for what it is truly worth. A new way that will help you appreciate your significant other, who has helped you get to where you are today.

Every life has its negatives. The power goes out. The street floods. Friends move away. Why focus on the negative? Candles are nice. The world is so fresh smelling after a rain. You make new friends. Your life turns; your relationship with your significant other turns, too. Focus on the good turns. It’s not easy.

Sometimes the bad seems so much more overwhelming compared to the good. You do have to put your mind to the good. Sometimes it is easiest to start out with small matters, matters close at hand. Something as silly as the blooming plants that you and your significant other gathered and potted last weekend, perhaps. There’s success. They way you both held forth at the bridge game last week. There’s success. Or something similar. Good lives are made of lots of small good things. Like children.

Children are lovely little treasures that you and your significant other made. They are growing into fine young folks. Of course, raising them is a bit more complex than planting geraniums. It took working together to make them what they are, teamwork to make them worthy and lovable souls. You and your partner may be drifting apart, but at one point you were a strong team. You depended on each other for so much that is so beneficial, so beautiful. Focus on that dependence that was actually a new way of being free. You always had each others back and that was a new kind of strength.

Just as your children are a testament to your joy in each other, look to the friendships you two have formed together. Whether it’s a tight circle or a large group, it’s a fantastic support resource you have built together. Bringing in friends that reflect your individual personalities is a way you came to know each other better in surprising new ways. They may be quirky, funny, odd, but friends are joys in your lives. If nothing else, they allow you to have something mutual to roll your eyes about, to chuckle over, even behind their backs.

Even in the best of relationships, things may seem to grow old or tired. And sometimes “what ifs” and “how comes” become too much of a focus. If things seem to be getting old, well, they’re not. You may feel bored, but you’ll be surprised. Look hard and you will see things are changing, and change is good. Don’t abandon something just because it’s changing. Take pride in the fact that you have shepherded it so well and so long. Your partner really is beautiful or you wouldn’t have stayed around this long. Your partner is someone to be proud of, or you wouldn’t have stuck around so long.

No long partnership is ever a failure. Again, look at all the small good things around you. It’s all made up of some pretty beautiful stuff that’s a testament to the worthiness and loveliness of you both. It sounds so trite when it is said aloud, “Count your blessings.” But, do. From the smallest to the largest, count them. When you wake up in the morning, when you can’t fall asleep at night, count them. And, if it suits you, figure out ways to enlarge them or build upon them. Your partner will love helping you change together, because you’ve been so successful together already. And, changing can be loving, too.

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Category: Relationships
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