You expect the newspaper at the door everyday, the car nearby and ready to go, the coffee shop ready with your morning brew, work for the paycheck; just as you expect your significant other to be picking up the cleaning, preparing meals, and taking care of all the other stuff. Male or female, no matter which role is taken, at least two folks are being taken for granted in this scenario.

Your significant other starts to become just like a paycheck, a car, the newspaper, and all the other stuff – just always there. The two of you engineered this situation. You’re both the main players in this game. So, why are you treating each other with all the deference you might be able to muster for a lamp post or a fire hydrant?

Everything may be running smoothly, kids well-tended, schedules and duties being met and pulled off with precision. Well, what about the two of you? Timing is everything to keep things running along. You’ve probably sacrificed a lot of time for being alone together to make it so. You just don’t put relationships like yours on auto-pilot and expect things to be okay.

As mentioned, you need to spend more time alone together. The operative words being “alone together.” You need to be alone together to examine the life you’ve built, to feel pleased together. And, more importantly, you need to retreat from that life and be a little bit selfish with each other for awhile – selfish meaning having each other all to yourselves. If you could find news way to enjoy just each other, that could add some sparks to your already steady flame.

Of course, sex comes to mind, and that’s great, but solid relationships require more than that. If your significant other is a bird watcher – learn more about it so you can share it more significantly. Often you will see crosswords in a newspaper that have been authored by a life-partner team. Is there something you could do together and perhaps even make it profitable? Gardening tomatoes or some other specialty for local farmer markets or restaurants could be fun. Even bee-keeping isn’t that bizarre – couples are doing that on rooftops in New York City!

Count the ways your partner blesses you. In this helter-skelter world, it’s far too easy to focus on things that need improvement, especially regarding someone nearby much of the time and on whom you depend. Everyday make a habit of reminding yourself why you love the one you’re with. Something that made you love them in the first place, or something new and wonderful you have discovered as your life has unfolded together.

Then, take the next best step and tell them about it – remember, at least once every day. You can do this by pulling them aside for a few minutes, embracing them, and telling them. Or, maybe while your fixing lunches, say something to them out of the blue, even if it’s kind of silly: “I like the way you chop celery, you do it with the precision that I admire in other things you do.”

You two have chosen each other to build a life together. You are the stars of this life so treat each other like the stars you are. One guy would write a little note in shaving cream on the mirror. One lady would leave a kiss on the mirror. Sometimes they would put little “You Know Why I love you?” notes in each others lunches. Always make sure your partner knows that you love them – unconditionally so – every day.

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Category: Relationships
Keywords: relationships, advice, marriage, love, intimacy