Parenting troubled teenagers often means dealing with the unexpected. Witnessing outrageous behavior. Encountering unacceptable situations. Participating in shocking conversations.

And do you know why troubled teenagers and the unexpected, the outrageous, the unacceptable and the shocking are often living in the same home?

In a word, power.

Growing up is all about learning how to accept and manage your own personal power and peacefully live alongside others and their personal power.

But nothing in life is straightforward and sometimes the power journey gets twisted and turned upside down. Well-intentioned parents bring their own power issues into their new families. This can happen for a variety of reasons and the only thing that matters is what happens next.

A troubled teenager who has figured out that the adults in his life sometimes give up their power when he makes a grab for it. Often this has been going on for years in a family and no one really saw it as a potential problem.

Until it becomes a turning point in a teen\’s life. Like a drug, each time this teen looks into the eyes of an adult in authority, challenges them and they back down, he feels a rush.

Until he can\’t stop. Nor does he want to.

Of course, the reality in this situation is that just because it feels good doesn\’t mean it\’s healthy or right. In fact, this power grab is extremely unhealthy and downright wrong. For a troubled teen to come to the understanding that power is hers for the taking is a wildly dangerous and intoxicating idea.

And simply not true.

All of life outside of her family will demonstrate to her that power is NOT hers for the taking. But by then she\’s missed or ignored the lessons of shared power. Of the benefits of living in a peaceful community, whether that\’s a family, a dorm, a corporate office, a marriage or any other societal group structure where everyone needs to contribute and look out for one another.

Mom or Dad, you can stop this runaway train in your midst. You may not be able to change your teen into the calm, sweet tempered child you were hoping for, but you can definitely take back control of your home.

How?

Effectively parenting troubled teens means taking back your rightful power as a parent. You have authority and with it comes responsibility. In this case responsibility is called leadership.

Teens of all kinds need parental leadership. Troubled teens need an extra huge dose of it.

So the next time your troubled teen stands up to you, stand taller. That doesn\’t mean yelling or arguing or hitting.

It means thinking through the values of your home and family and building a foundation of boundaries upon it. It means clearly spelling out those boundaries with your teen (and other children) and attaching appropriate consequences to those boundaries if they are crossed so that the pre-adults in your household learn self-control, among other things.

Then it means following through and doing what you say. No matter what.

So, what to do with troubled teenagers?

If your teen manipulates you. Stand firm.

If your teen rejects you. Stand firm.

When your teen humiliates you. Stand firm.

You do this hard enough and long enough and your teen just may do something else to you.

Respect you.

That might be an unexpected, shocking and outrageous thing for your teenager to do, too.

But totally appropriate, because you are the parent. And the power stops with you.

Author Bio: Colleen Langenfeld has raised 4 kids and can help you enjoy your mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com . Do you have the basics covered in your family? Get a free report on raising teens plus grab more parenting troubled teenagers strategies today.

Category: Parenting
Keywords: troubled teenagers,help for parents with troubled teenagers,parenting troubled teenagers