If you have a defiant child on your hands, you know that maintaining a loving relationship can be very difficult.

Depending upon the level of defiance, these children can be moody and explosive, making them difficult to simply enjoy on a daily basis.

Which can lead to very real parental guilt.

That\’s understandable. However, as a parent you know how important it is to stay positive, calm and in control when dealing with your defiant child.

In other words, loving.

Let\’s look at some ways as parents we can turn up our positive interaction with our kids and by extension, love them more – even when we\’re finding it hard to merely like them.

– Use humor. Liberally. Once a child starts down a road of defiance, life around home can get intense. Break through that dark intensity with humor.

Start a joke of the day club. Everyone must come to the dinner table (or wherever works for your family) with a clean joke.

Make sure your child knows how to laugh. Watch funny movies together. Play charades (kids love charades), or have a silly contest.

Look, when it\’s time to be serious, you\’ve got to be serious. Try to balance that out with as much humor as possible.

After all, a funny kid is an easy kid to love.

– Work together. Instead of assigning chores and waiting for the meltdowns, make chore time a family effort and do them together.

This may not make chores completely fun, but I can tell you from nearly 30 years of parenting experience, doing chores together means better compliance (because Mom or Dad is doing something with us and that counts as attention), lots of interesting conversations and, eventually, adult kids who know how to take care of a house.

If your child is in a defiant frame of mind anyway, the chances of him doing his chores just because you ask are nil. Try putting your kids in charge of getting the work done (with guidelines) and let them take turns assigning chores, including their own. Very few kids can resist being the boss. And it will give you an opportunity to \”catch\” your sometimes defiant child doing something right.

Another loving moment discovered and embraced.

(By the way, this method works for homework, too. If your child is resisting doing her school work, set a time each evening when the whole family sits down to do \”homework\” together. You may be paying bills, taking care of correspondence or even reading a good book – just do it with your child as a structured time together.)

– Have a dedicated family time. Board games, card games, cooking together, making music or playing sports in the back yard, exploring hobbies; all make for excellent family times.

If your child thinks that spending time together is stupid, then you know the next problem to tackle.

Family time needs to be an active priority that\’s fun for everyone and it doesn\’t hurt if it gets put on the schedule where all can see it. That\’s how your child knows you are taking it seriously. And if you don\’t take it seriously, why should she?

If you haven\’t played games and had fun with your family in a while, it may take some practice to get back in the groove. Take the family shopping and let everyone pick out a game to try. Work at putting giggles back into your family. After all, a giggling kid is easy to love…

And if you don\’t have the time for family night…then your defiant child is not your real problem, is it?

Defiant behavior in children can be slight, moderate or severe. In any case, increasing the opportunities in your family life for your child to be giggly, helpful and a regular participant in family life is always a step in the right direction.

The loving direction.

Author Bio: Is your child dishing out too much drama? Let Colleen Langenfeld show you proven tips on parenting you can use right now at http://www.paintedgold.com . Get a free behavior log plus more key strategies of dealing with defiant behavior in children today.

Category: Parenting
Keywords: defiant behavior in children,defiant child,defiant behavior