Clearly, you don\’t have to be blissfully in love or very happy for your relationship to last. What you need is not love or luck. It\’s commitment and companionship. Commitment means that you have powerful personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay in the relationship whereas companionship means that you and your partner form a unified team against whatever challenges life hands you.

Team members may fight, disagree, and encounter stalemates, but they know that their happiness and satisfaction in life depends on their togetherness –not on their individual success.

When you grow together, you share what you\’re thinking, feeling, and hoping for. You don\’t remain the same person that your spouse met. Instead, you find new hobbies, new passions, and new jobs that keep your life exciting and, always surprising. Even when your new direction seems to lead in an opposite direction from your spouse, it is usually just old perceptions that makes it seem that way.

Spouses can be resistant to changes in their partner, because they see it as a sign that their partner is dissatisfied with things as they are. Reassure Your spouse. Whatever new direction you take, you need to involve your spouse fully and ensure that nothing will cut into your couple time.

Major incompatibilities involve more fundamental areas, like your values, goals, and vision for your marriage. If you and your partner differ significantly in your upbringing, the importance you place on family, and your need for and ability to express physical affection, you may have a more difficult time accepting and negotiating your differences.

When a marriage begins to crumble, their first Instinct is to act out one\’s emotions. They feel hurt, so they lash out. They feel criticized, so they become defensive. They feel vulnerable, so they close up. These are reactions, not actions. Your feelings should not make you act in ways that you don\’t want to.

When Marriage Fails … Contrary to popular belief, it\’s not men who seek divorce. It\’s women, by an overwhelming majority. The reasons for this are varied. Part of it is the nature of divorce laws; another part is the fact that men tend to have more problems with marriage-destroying behaviors like alcoholism, affairs, and substance abuse, that cause their wives to seek separation.

Divorce is hard on everyone. The damage divorce causes to children is usually worse than the damage caused by living in a two-parent home with marital difficulties. This is contrary to the popular belief that children are better off if their parents divorce rather than live together. Studies show that only in a minority of high-conflict situations is this true.

After a divorce, a woman\’s standard of living can be expected to drop while a man\’s standard of living may actually improve. Yet men suffer in other ways. Divorced and separated men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide than married men. This is partially due to the fact that men, unlike women, are less likely to have a strong support network to share their feelings. Whether due to this need for companionship or not, divorced men are more likely to remarry than divorced women, and they\’re more likely to remarry sooner.

A happy, fulfilling relationship begins with you. Learn how to make up and…Save your marriage.

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Category: Break-up
Keywords: break-up,relationships,making-up,divorce,save my marriage