Communication plays an extremely important role within a marriage. A lack of communication between the couple in a marriage can cause the marriage to fall apart and is usually the main cause. To meet both your needs, your spouse and you need to have openness and honesty which are vital in a marriage. Definite destruction of a marriage can be caused by shutting out one\’s spouse by not listening to them, refusing to talk to them and the course of your marriage will lead down that road of destruction.

Among other things, communication is about sharing your thoughts and feelings with one another and listening and spending time thinking about what was said in order to resolve any issues. Sharing your thoughts and feelings through an open communication will help a couple\’s marriage. Arguments, resentment and other problems can result from a person having bottled up their emotions and when inevitably released will cause problems. Stating your issue in a calm and respectful manner will open up good communication. With what is in your heart, and sharing it with your spouse, you can achieve a greater and deeper intimacy with them. Instead of the words \’I feel\’ in a sentence, use \’I think\’ in their place. You are expressing a thought and not a feeling by doing that. Try using the sentence \”When you [fill in the issue here] it makes me feel…\” when addressing a person\’s behavior. Your partner will fully understand your emotions and reactions by doing that in this great way.

If on the receiving end of an issue, always take time to listen to what your partner is saying about the issue. Merely hearing what the person is saying and listening are two different things. To fully understand what the other person is saying, you need to let your partner say everything he or she has to say, and then react to them in an equally calm and respectful manner. Remember not to reject your spouse\’s feelings by saying things like \’Don\’t worry, be happy\’ or \’You shouldn\’t feel that way\’. Rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it.

The key to staying calm and respectful after hearing your partners issue with your behavior is to not react at the time you hear the complaint. How does the issue affect you, your spouse, your marriage and try to take time to think about their feelings. If you react with your feelings rather than your thoughts, you are not stopping to think about the issue and you are just reacting with your feelings without thinking. Shouting and screaming to resolve a problem will not help and they will not make your spouse understand your feelings any better.

You must find a solution to resolve the problem, that is the most important thing. Nothing is achieved by hoping the problem will just disappear or focusing on the point that there may not be a solution to your problem. There is always a solution to every problem but, the solution usually depends on behavior modification on both of your parts.

When it comes to saving your marriage, changing the way you communicate is definitely effective. Resorting to divorce when a relationship turns bad must be avoided at all costs, no matter how hard it seems you must try and save the marriage.

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Category: Relationships
Keywords: save your marriage, save marriage