The Jewish tradition of \”sitting shiva\” is the period of mourning observed the first week after the funeral of a parent, spouse, sibling, or child. It is a time of reflection, meditation, contemplation and spiritual connection.

Sitting shiva should feel like a family gathering, where despite the sadness,life goes on.

When you plan to make a shiva call, please respect the schedule the family has announced and visit at the requested times. Jewish law prohibits sitting shiva on Shabbat, so do not plan to visit at sundown on Friday through sundown on Saturday or on Jewish holidays.

If you visit immediately after the funeral, there will be a pitcher of water, basin, and towels near the door, as it is a ritual to wash your hands upon returning from the cemetery.

It is appropriate to open the door and walk into the shiva house without ringing the doorbell. Most front doors will be left open or unlocked, since all are invited to comfort the mourners. Grief stricken mourners forego the social obligation to meet and greet their visitors.

It is suggested that you bring food to the home instead of flowers, and if the family observes traditional Jewish dietary laws, make sure the food you bring is kosher . Take it to the kitchen, where there will be someone to receive it. Identify the food and be sure to put your name on a card or on the container, so that the mourners can acknowledge your kindness.

Know that it is important to overcome your discomfort and focus on

bringing sensitivity and empathy to those who mourn … your very presence is consoling. Showing concern provides comfort and helps the mourner with the long process of healing.

— Go to the mourners as soon as possible and offer your condolences compassionately . You can simply say, “I’m sorry for your loss” or \”I was so sorry to hear about _______\”

— Let the mourner begin to talk and set the tone

— Be a good listener, it is not necessary to be overly talkative

— Express your concern for the mourner\’s well-being

— Share stories, photos and memories of the deceased, as well as humorous anecdotes

— Kindness is important- Friends and family are obligated to tend to the needs of mourners, and may offer to be helpful by doing errands, driving visitors to and from the airport, hosting someone from out of town or taking care of children and pets.

— It is not necessary to spend all of your time speaking with the mourners and you should socialize briefly with other guests

— It is appropriate to bring children to a shiva house

— When food is offered, feel comfortable eating

— If a prayer service is conducted during your visit, participate to the extent you can or just sit respectfully and listen

– Your visit does not have to be long, an hour or even less is fine

— Conclude your visit with \”Please accept my sincerest condolences- Let me know if there is anything I can do to help” or a traditional consolation: \”May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem\”

If you cannot visit during shiva or make a shiva call in person, consider showing your concern and support by sending food, a comforting gift or a memorial donation.

To express your condolences, or for more information about sitting shiva visit http://www.ShivaConnect.com – a free service to help Jewish mourners, thier families amd friends. A “personal Shiva Registry” can be posted to email funeral & shiva details to friends, relatives, colleagues who can send shiva food & donations, and find helpful resources.

Sharon Rosen is the founder of ShivaConnect.com – a free resource to help Jewish mourners, their families and those wishing to express their condolences. A Shiva Registry is used to notify and coordinate arrangements for the funeral and shiva period.

Sharon Rosen is the founder of http://www.ShivaConnect.com a free resource to help Jewish mourners, their families and those wishing to express their condolences. A Shiva Registry is used to notify and coordinate arrangements for the funeral and shiva period.

Author Bio: Sharon Rosen is the founder of ShivaConnect.com – a free resource to help Jewish mourners, their families and those wishing to express their condolences. A Shiva Registry is used to notify and coordinate arrangements for the funeral and shiva period.

Category: Advice
Keywords: sitting shiva, shiva house, shiva call, shiva food, Jewish mourner, shiva connect, shiva registry