While everyone agrees that victims of domestic violence must be helped, no on talks about the perpetrators of domestic violence or if they do at all, many will want the perpetrators to be given the highest punishment possible. The truth however is, that perpetrators of domestic violence also need help and sometimes their behavior itself is a call for help which unfortunately is not recognized by many.

Although there are quite a number of female perpetrators, we have to agree that most of the perpetrators of domestic violence happen to be male. A majority of them realize that they need help but are not aware how to get it. Some of them are really desperate to change their ways. With most of the domestic violence cases ending in courts, an order to attend classes conducted on domestic violation is often a stipulation of the court. There are of course some perpetrators who having realized the dire straits they are in, start attending these classes of their own free well.

These classes are designed with the idea of changing the violent behavior of a person and help him to realize how disruptive and unhealthy it is for him and all those around him. The perpetrators are educated about the consequences of domestic violence especially on the children and how the behavior of the father will impact on the lives of the children who have to witness abuse and violence daily in their homes. These classes also help to draw out the underlying reason for this type of violent behavior so that the perpetrator can confront them and start changing his beliefs and attitudes which so far has made him to act the way he has.

Perpetrators of domestic violence can be from any walk of life, race, religion or background. The classes are conducted in small groups where the instructors are also male and who themselves might have been perpetrators some time in their lives. Domestic violence perpetrators who take part in the classes are taught to confront their anger and behavior and also to take responsibility for their acts of violence instead of blaming others. They are taught to recognize the signs and how to stop when they are about to become violent.

If perpetrators of domestic violence have relationship problems where they become provoked by a partner’s anger, they will be taught how to approach the partner without being abusive and also by helping the partner to manage her anger in a better way. Most importantly, they learn that it is up to them to choose whether they wish to be violent and abusive or solve problems with a non abusive approach that would help to build a relationship or make it stronger. At the meetings they have to report on their behavior since the last meeting and to comment on the progress they have made in controlling their anger.

What one has to understand is that in the same way that the abused is the victim of the abuser, the perpetrator is also a victim of circumstances which would have made an impact in his life when he was quite young such as an abusive and violent relationship between his parents or he himself being abused when he was young either by his parents, a teacher or relative.

According to reports and testimonies received from many past perpetrators, these classes have really helped them to change and build a healthy relationship with their partners and they are quite positive about the help they received which as stated by them is very practical and relevant to the problems they had been having for a long time.

Author Bio: Christine Crotts is not a native, but after two decades in North Carolina she feels that she can call it home. Christine has written a site containing reviews on Charlotte NC Homes for Sale, as well as Charlotte North Carolina hotels.

Category: Family Concerns
Keywords: domestic violence,violence perpetrators,domestic violence cases,domestic violence perpetrators