What Not to Say in the Heat of the Moment
In the heat of an argument with a partner, in a moment of high tension, we are all capable of making some very terrible mistakes. Yet, we know that there a places where one should not go in moments of wrath. In spite of this knowledge, we lose it and end up saying something we may regret – regret for a long, long time. Everyone gets upset, feelings can and do erupt uncontrollably, but it’s not okay to launch a pernicious verbal assault on your partner.
Hopefully, with this article as a guide, you will learn a few things that should be avoided when you feel the temperature rising – and not in a good way – between you and your significant other. Hotheadedness can lead you to say things that might cause incredible damage to your relationship; or at the very least, start those spidery cracks that can make even a concrete-solid relationship start to crumble. The significant factor here is respect – you deserve it and so does your partner.
If you want to cheapen your relationship and cause yourself and your partner outrageous embarrassment, argue in public. Arguing in public puts you and your partner on display much like the trashy couples seen on daytime TV. Immaturity is the significant factor here. Neither you nor your partner should be playing to the crowd, especially by sniping at each other with snide remarks for all to hear. Rage and embarrassment just makes things worse and soon you may even draw a crowd that will find a lot of amusement in your cheap street show.
When others are within earshot, be they family members, friends, or strangers, the dynamics of an argument are greatly altered. The argument takes on an adversarial tone rather than an attempt to express hurt feelings and resolve a problem. It becomes a contest with one trying to outdo the other and convince whoever is watching which of you is justifiably upset. Don’t worry about the possibility of embarrassment, it will absolutely descend on both of you. Stop immediately and adjourn for a suitable time and place.
Hopefully, you and your partner think a lot of each other and value each others opinion. So, why would you ask your partner their opinion or advice on a topic or a course of action to take, then turn around and do something absolutely contrary to what your partner offered? Don’t try to hide your actions, the truth always surfaces, and your dearest friend will be taken aback, if not just downright angry.
You better have a pretty good explanation as to why you took such contrary action. Don’t even ask for assistance if you’re going to react in a way just to be wicked. After all, acting in this way is insulting and hurtful; certainly not the way to grow a trusting and healthy relationship. You’ve basically said that you think little of your partner’s perspective on life.
Sometimes arguments are, sad to say, necessary in a relationship. They help partners express hurt feelings or dissatisfaction and can be an avenue for improvement in the relationship. But don’t cheapen your relationship by choosing to argue in front of others. You both probably know that there is a problem and you should deal with it in an appropriate time and place. Your lives don’t need to be nakedly displayed to others.
Consider your request for information or guidance very carefully before you ask. If you do ask, consider carefully what they have offered; don’t cast it aside with a snort or a roll of the eyes. Or don’t say you will follow their guidance and then not do it. This approach shows a lack of respect for the other and a lack of interest in the relationship as a whole. Respect your partner, don’t embarrass your partner, don’t be immature – those few rules would help many a relationship.
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Category: Relationships
Keywords: relationships, advice, marriage, love