If you are reading this then you’ve been there.

You’ve had a child smart off to you. Maybe this is even happening now in your home.

It can range from relatively mild.

“You’re mean!”

To much more severe.

“Leave me alone, you b****!”

There’s no doubt that severe talking back from kids brings pain and cruelty to families. If your family is suffering from this malady, I bet you’ve got the scars to prove it. I’m not going to offer you “three easy steps on how to end back talk in your home.” You and I both know there’s no such thing.

But if you wish you knew how to stop back talking, there ARE proven family strategies that work – if you work them.

These are not difficult strategies, but they do require commitment and perseverance. From experience I can tell you that when you implement parenting strategies like these, behavior problems often increase for a bit as your temperamental child tests you, to see if you mean what you say.

Stop Back Talk – Strategy #1

The yelling needs to stop and you’re the one with all the power here, Mom or Dad. So the first step is to stop your part of the yelling. When a conversation escalates, you quiet down instead of heating up. When the smart mouthing begins you can say “I won’t tolerate that” and leave the room.

You leaving the room should mean something. For your back talking child this could mean:

Privileges – gone.
Being heard for the moment – gone.
Getting her way – NO WAY.

Don’t be intimidated or drawn into the screaming match. If you want to stop back talk in your home, you’re going to have to establish new standards. Here’s another one.

Stop Back Talk – Strategy #2

You are in charge in your home. Period.

Mom or Dad, you are the leader in your home. Your child desperately needs this from you. You have the wisdom and maturity he lacks.

Maybe this is a new concept for you. That’s okay. Sit with yourself and think about what being a good leader means to you.

Qualities like courage and stability will come to mind. Firm and loving. Strong yet gentle (not weak).

These are timeless character traits of leaders with a sacrificial spirit. Trust me, it is hard and satisfying work to incorporate these qualities regularly into your life.

Doing so will change the fundamental dynamics of your homelife.

Stop Back Talk – Strategy #3

Honesty counts. On all levels. All the time.

I’m talking about being honest with yourself here. That’s hard for all of us to do! Can you stand back and take a clear-eyed view of your family? Of your kids? Of your parenting? Be completely honest with yourself about what you see. Don’t sugarcoat it. Don’t exaggerate.

Be real.

Not always, but often if talking back has become a major problem in a family, there are other red flags, as well. Now’s the time to practice that courage we talked about earlier! I know when I’ve done this little exercise in our family over the years, it has been a tremendous help to talk over what I think I’m seeing with another more experienced parent.

So do find a mentor or a professional for yourself, if it will help. Gain some perspective. Make an action plan of how to turn things upside down and make life better, based on your own observations.

Trust yourself here. I have found that most parents are very wise about what their families need when they are completely honest.

Let’s face it. All kids try out back talking from time to time. It’s just a part of growing up. But if your home is awash in it, if you are starting to dread having conversations with your child, if you find yourself begging to be listened to or screaming at the top of your lungs in retaliation, then you have an opportunity on your hands to change things for the better.

Will changing these things be a lot of work? Yes. But living with constant disrespect is far more work. Understanding how to stop back talking means looking at the whole picture of your family so that any plan you put together will make sense for you and your child.

That’s parenting you can be proud of.

Author Bio: Colleen Langenfeld has raised 4 kids and can help you enjoy your mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com . Do you know all you want to know about your teen? Get a free report on raising teens plus more insight on how to stop back talking by visiting her site today.

Category: Advice
Keywords: how to stop back talking,how to stop back talk,talking back