Some parents find sibling rivalry cute, but you should not actually tolerate it. First it can have a huge effect in the relationship among siblings. You do not want them to think it is perfectly okay to fight with one another. Second, you do not want them to grow up with plenty of unresolved issues.

Settle sibling rivalry once and for all. Here are some of the tips you can follow:

1. Know the main issue.

It is easy for you to feel pity over the one who is crying and hurting, but that does not really capture the entire picture. There is a possibility that the other sibling may have just retaliated after a series of bullying from the crying one. Make sure that you can dig deeper.

2. Treat them fair and square.

Perform social justice into your home. This means you really do not favor the younger one simply because the older has to act more \”his age.\” As the parent and the adult in the discussion, you will be the judge. You do not want to send the wrong message that you do tolerate and justify wrongdoings for certain reasons.

3. Help them calm themselves.

It will be quite difficult for them to explain their truest feelings or emotions if they are still very angry or hate their siblings. You need to teach them how to take better control of their anger. You can teach them how to use subliminal messages.

Before they speak, you may compel them to say the following lines:

I am imagining myself getting calmer.
I am letting go of my anger.
I am willing to resolve the conflict I have with my sibling.

You can let them repeat these subliminal messages until they feel very relaxed. In fact, there is a good chance they will realize their own mistakes and patch things up with their siblings without you intermediating.

4. Teach them how to resolve their own conflicts.

It is not all the time you will be around to settle all their fights. When they grow up, they need to mend their differences on their own. It is best to teach them how while they are young.

Begin by asking the general picture. Then allow them to share their feelings about what happened. Subsequently, determine what each party should have done to avoid the conflict. By permitting them to do this, you help them own up to their own mistakes and come up with a solution they can definitely follow.

5. Develop some rules.

As much as possible, you want to get rid of conflicts. You can only do that by setting up rules or boundaries. For example, if one child is using the bathroom, the other should wait and not continuously bang the door. Each child will have his own set of toys, and if the other wants to play with his sibling\’s set, he needs to ask permission. With the rules, the children learn to be more disciplined and respectful of one another.

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Category: Parenting
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