A huge obstacle to fix a troubled marriage is when one of the couple holds a grudge against the other because of something that happened in the past. As long as you have bad feeling towards your partner, you don’t have the even headiness you need to look for effective ways to fix your marriage.

In spite of the harm it does, it is VERY hard to get rid of grudge. There is no doubt, it is a very hard feeling that your spouse is getting away “scott free” from something wrong that they did. Granted that it is hard, it is worth it for you to work to get over the grudge because YOU are the paying the price for THEIR bad behavior.

Read on to learn 4 ways to get rid of a grudge.

* Abe Lincoln used the following tactic to overcome grudges and ill feelings he had towards people: Take out your personal stationary, write down all of your gripes, and then rewrite them. After that put it in an envelope, address it, and then DON’T mail it but put it in your drawer forever. If you think that your spouse may discover this letter then send it to a fake address and DON’T put on a return address! You will see that you will become much calmer after you wrote it down.

In the case that the first strategy didn’t work try this: Ask yourself the following question:

* Is my bitterness or grudge based solely on facts or maybe there is some other explanation, not so harsh, why your spouse did what they did. For instance, if your husband didn’t notice your new dress or forgot your birthday is it because he doesn’t care about you or maybe something else happened. Write down 4 or 4 other motives for what they did and then ask him straight out why he did what he did.

* “Are the intentions that I feel my spouse had when they did what they did, a fact or something that I think”. More often than not, we interpret intentions falsely. Forgetting to pick up your suit or dress from the dry cleansers doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you and are about to desert you. It is very likely that it only means that of the million things that they had on their mind to do, they forgot to do this one.

* Was this a one-time slip-up or something constant? Joanne scheduled a dinner on the night that Mark, her husband, had an important meeting that he told her about a few days earlier. His initial thought was that she doesn’t care about his career. After speaking his feelings over with me he remembered how she helps him with his work and he then came to the conclusion that she had no malicious intent but simply forgot.

There is one important thing to keep in mind; grudges don’t usually come overnight and surely don’t suddenly disappear. It could take weeks or even months until you can laugh at the way you felt. Just keep on writing down your negative feeling and asking the above questions to yourself until your troubled marriage will be a thing of the past.

Author Bio: Are you suffering in a troubled marriage? Then go to www.repairyourmarriagecenter.com and find how you can fix your troubled marriage.

Category: Marriage
Keywords: troubled marriage