Transition Into Remarriage
Marriage is the ultimate union and commitment of two people who profess to love each other till death do they part. However, today’s lifestyle trends tell us that, unfortunately, a number of these marriages do not last as long as they initially professed, some due to deaths of the partner while most end up in divorce. But these incidents do not stop them from entering into marriage again. Getting remarried is a common occurrence these days.
Remarriage brings some advantages but often comes with a price tag of emotional rivalries between parents and children. Remarriage does not have to affect the amount of contact children have with their non-custodial, biological father unless the mother who retains the child rearing rights, moves away. That connection needs to be kept strong, no matter what other demands are placed upon you. That is a fact that you need to assure your children with.
How do you prepare the kids for your second marriage?
There’s much you can do to prepare everyone. Talk to your children about your decision. This is not about giving them the choice to make the final decision but letting them know of the decision you are going to make which they are going to be a part of. Remarriage is an adult choice, an act that children will not fully comprehend and making the decision should not be left in their hands.
While adjusting to the new idea of having a new member of the family, watch your kids. Stay close to them and observe their reactions. Talk to the often and help them fell free to express their feelings without being shot down. It is at this point that they need to feel loved, included and assured that you are not replacing them with someone else and that this person is not their competition for your love. Be sure that you don’t allow that to happen, as well.
Try to make the transition as seamless as possible. Eliminate as many unknowns such as how each parent disciplines or changes in the household.
Include the children from both sides in your wedding. Involve them in planning so they can feel the excitement as the day comes near. Give them extra gifts you get from your wedding providers such as promotional pens. On the wedding day itself, give them an assignment. Let them handle the responsibility of simple chores such as distribution of wedding favors.
The integration of a new member is not easy. If you feel there are any, seek help as early as possible, from marriage counselors. Find a support group that can help you with the transitions. Discussing and hearing their own situations will give a lot of learning that you can apply or give an idea on how to handle your own conflicts.
Such programs and groups can help parents in stepfamilies develop realistic expectations, arrive at a clearer understanding of their new roles and feelings, and help them deal more effectively with the problems of everyday life.
Author Bio: Jesse Jake Vickers enjoys writing for Hqweddingfavors.com and Corporatesnobs.com which offer promotional products and wedding favors as well as a host of additional products.
Category: Marriage
Keywords: marriage counselors,getting remarried,second marriage