“You are backed into supervised or therapeutic visitation and your children are brainwashed to see you as ‘danger.’ The alienating parent cuts you out of your lost child’s life. When you realize there’s nothing to hold onto, you pack your personals, grab what’s left of your life and run.” Sounding familiar…?

Some people leave for a job, some move toward friends or family, and others leave to hold onto their sanity or criminal free record.

Parental Alienation – Distant Parent and Lost Child

Once miles away, many of these run-away, alienated parents gradually lose contact with their children. Initially, their phone calls may be monitored, and then avoided…until they reach a point in which their calling is like dialing into “the black hole.”

So as not to decompose over the heartache, many estranged parents stop trying to make contact, except for the birthday card that gets mailed. Delivered? …Well, that’s unknown.

They go on with life, at least from the outside looking in. But, deep in their hearts is a fractured soul. This is the natural, inevitable consequence of being denied access to your own flesh and blood.

A New Beginning Is Arriving

Then, the day comes when you realize that you are less than a year away from the day that once seemed eons away. Your daughter or son is turning 18 years old.

What does this mean to you and to your soon-to-be adult child? Most people would acknowledge that this could be the beginning of a new chapter for both of you.

You begin to feel the itch to reconnect. You now have the security of your established job and much healing under your belt from the mere distance.

Your daughter/son is embarking on becoming of age. Legal emancipation is right around the corner. And from the core of her/his being shots the unanswered question: Where is my father? Or, as the case may be: Where is my mother?

Don’t Get in Your Own Way

Gallantly you seek to reconnect with your stolen child. And as your plans unfold, your fears rush in. Often these are the same fears that peaked in the war with you ex. Often they are the lingering fears that never really went away.

It could be something like this… “If I show up in my adult child’s life, will my ex seek to retaliate and go after my retirement, my savings, my property…the rest of ‘me’…my life?”
Now, of course, we both know that your property is not YOU. But if this is your fear, I trust you know exactly what I’m saying here.

Building a Fearless Foundation to Reconnect

What if you had the ability to set your fears at rest before the big day? Can you imagine the difference that you would experience in yourself? Can you see the impact that this difference could have on the likely outcome of your efforts to reconnect with your soon-to-be adult child?

If you are an alienated parent whose contact with your minor children has been severed by virtue of a nasty divorce or the actions of you ex, then prepare yourself because you will want to be ready for your parent-child reunion.

Author Bio: Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps estranged parents and children mend parental alienation. Browse our resources for domestic abuse survivors at www.preventabusiverelationships.com/ebooks.php and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

Category: Family Concerns
Keywords: Parental alienation,PAS,parent alienation,parental alienation syndrome, parental alienation syndrom