It is perfectly normal for a marriage to go through some rough spots. After all, you are two people with completely different personalities. But one thing you have in common is the innate need for intimacy. So if intimacy in marriage stays intact, the marriage itself is safe.

So despite all the problems that may come to your married life, you have to work doubly hard to protect the intimacy. This is so important that several self help books on intimate marriage have been written. Some people find these self help books particularly helpful as they are not very open to seeking marriage counselling.

So what do these self help books on intimate marriage say?

1. Attentiveness to each other’s needs. Intimacy in marriage means that you and your partner become extremely close in all aspects: physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. When this closeness disappears or suffers in any one of these aspects, intimacy suffers as well. To nurture closeness in all these aspects, you also need to be attentive to the physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual needs of each other. This way, you feel closely connected to one another because your needs are met by each other only.

2. Talk about everything. One important feature of an intimate marriage is the ability to talk about anything and everything with your spouse, no matter how difficult, embarrassing, or petty the topic is. And when you talk, it should be honest and free. It should encompass topics from the past, present, and future. You can talk about something as mundane as the weather, something routinely such as what you two did during the day, or something as intimate as sex and love.

3. Don’t lose the dates. Most married couples stop dating when they get married. What’s the use, since you live in a single house anyway? But it’s important to maintain routines you used to have before you were married. If you have movie night every Friday before you got married, continue that tradition. It can do wonders to keep the center of your relationship intact.

4. Provide positive affirmations. Since you two become like one, you should be each other’s source of positive affirmations and encouragement. Never forget to complement each other regularly. Even when the rest of society comments on negative things about each other, positive affirmations from one another and the belief that your spouse thinks highly of you
can be your constant source of encouragement and self confidence.

5. Have a positive outlook. A negative outlook in life can dampen anyone’s spirit. And since there’s two of you in the marriage, you can expect the negative to affect your partner and also the bond between you two.

Also, it is normal for couples to encounter problems. The worst thing you can do for your marriage is to think that every problem you face has the potential to lead to the end of the marriage. If you keep that kind of outlook, you will lose the motivation to work things out with your spouse, and this can ruin a marriage. But if you think positively about the marriage and believe that all problems can be solved as long as you two stay together, no problem will be too big.

Author Bio: Nelson Berry is The Pioneer of Subliminal Messages Online. Click
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Category: Marriage
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