Somewhere between a nice guy – who always comes in last – and a jerk who ends up using a girl and breaking her heart – there lies a man who is more successful with women than either the nice guy or the jerk. You can call him a PUA or you can just call him a guy who knows how to make women happy.

The nice guy has traits that initially attract a woman to him: he is loyal, trustworthy, has good values, and is respectful. But what ends up happening is that he becomes so concerned with making a girl happy that he turns into a doormat.

In his efforts to be the nice guy, he forgets about himself. In the end, he is seen as wimpy and needy because he does not set boundaries or assert himself. The result is that he loses respect from the woman. She has a hard time respecting a guy who lets himself be walked all over.

The other potential pitfall of the nice guy is he is so consistent and reliable that he becomes predictable. When she knows exactly how he is going to act or react, she gets bored. When a woman is bored, attraction flies out the door.

The jerk is the opposite extreme of the nice guy. Unlike the nice guy who will put the girl’s wants and desires above his own, the jerk will disregard what the woman wants and make his needs come first. He over-asserts himself, and has unrealistic boundaries that basically give him full rein in fulfilling his desires but force the woman to walk a tightrope.

The jerk also is completely unreliable. He doesn’t call or show up when he says he’s going to. He might be quiet on one date and then wild and crazy on the other. The result of this is that her attraction for him grows. She likes that he is unpredictable. To a certain extent because too much of that behavior will cause the girl to kick him to the curb.

Girlfriends leave nice guys for jerks because they offer them excitement and unbridled attraction. But they don’t often stay with them because some of the jerk’s behaviors are unacceptable to most women with healthy self-esteem.

But then we see some girls who go for jerks and stay with them. And these are girls with abundant self-esteem, so what is going on? What is happening is that from the outside, we see this sort of jerk behavior in the guy – he doesn’t care what anyone thinks, he might be a bit of a flake, he isn’t always nice to everyone and he most definitely is never acting in a way that appears he is seeking anyone’s approval. He\’s the guy who knows
How To Flirt by gentle teasing and pushing and pulling techniques.

But these traits aren’t necessarily bad. You can be a really good guy and not care what anyone thinks. You can be a bit unpredictable – maybe not calling exactly when you say you are going to – as long as it is not the norm and it only happens occasionally. You can do some of these behaviors that are traditionally associated with a jerk and spark attraction. The secret is to do it in moderation. Take some of the jerk behaviors and sprinkle them into your relationship. Not all of them, but some that will make you less predictable and boring.

Then you will be walking that fine line between jerk and nice guy and you will be the one walking out with women on each arm.

Author Bio: Bill has been a PUA for the last 5 years in NYC and can teach you the skills you need to be one, as well, including how to text a girl. The original article can be found here: No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Category: Dating
Keywords: how to text a girl, how to flirt, where to meet women, how to talk to women, pick up forum