Seven billion population?! But what if you were the last person on earth?

The human race has hit the seven billion mark. This makes being one in a million a fairly common occurrence, technically there could be as many as seven thousand individuals who are indeed one in a million. Rubbish. This is not the point I want to make though, I\’m getting distracted by maths. You see, as claims are still being made as to exactly who is the seven billionth addition to the current members of the human race I was thinking something quite different. I was not concerned about the demise of prestige in the statement of ‘being one in a million\’, but more excited about the prospect of being one in seven billion and then, better still, the thought of being one in, well, one.

Let me explain. Excitement about the latest milestone crossed by our ever expanding race was tempered. We got foreboding reports of our impending doom as resources and space wane under the weight of our increasing needs. So rather than concern myself with what might be considered a happy medium in terms of fellow humans with which to share the globe, I went to the extreme. How to cope with being the only human on the planet, would it be better than sharing it with 6,999,999,999 others? What if I were the last person on earth? And to be clear I don\’t mean this in an apocalyptic fashion. Just me and the world exactly as it is of this moment minus everyone else.

With the parameters clear let\’s get into this. Firstly I\’d play golf, lots of golf. On courses that usually I would not have been able to play on. And I\’d do this for as long as a lack of green keepers would allow. No green fees, no dress codes, no slow play, no feeling slightly embarrassed by my astronomical scores. Sweet! Now, with that done and the handicap reduced, maybe I should be more practical.

Next I was going to say learn to ride a horse and hunt, very practical. Vital as infrastructures collapse and food reserves rot. However this is not necessary. I\’m the only person on earth and currently there is enough food and fuel to last at least a day or two for seven billion. I figure even if I live until 2050, I am not going to drain even one petrol station or the store of tinned goods in a single supermarket. So instead I figured I\’d learn to surf.

Surfing isn\’t just cool; it\’s also a great way to stay fit and healthy and requires no other individuals to keep the area of play in a useable condition. And in all honesty, that\’d be about it. I\’d probably befriend a dog of the shaggy and friendly variety with which I\’d hold one sided conversations. I doubt I\’d stay in one place either; obviously travelling throughout the UK would be fairly straight forward and even getting to mainland Europe. In fact you could drive through the Chunnel, which would be a blast. Maybe head to Southern Italy and settle by the coast with Conan. Conan, that\’s what I\’d call the dog…

Dave Fowler writes about the stranger side of life for the Christmas gifts retailer Find Me A Gift.

Dave Fowler writes about the stranger side of life for the http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/christmas-gifts/ Christmas gifts retailer Find Me A Gift.

Author Bio: Dave Fowler writes about the stranger side of life for the Christmas gifts retailer Find Me A Gift.

Category: Humor
Keywords: humour,humor,funny,life